He was ready to leave for Adult day care and he refused. When I handed him his coat, he shoved me across the room to the wall. This is a first in the 38 years we have been together. I was scared but mostly hurt. I know it is not the man I married, but I don't know what to do. He is 9 years into alzheimer's and in Stage 6.
It could be a number of things. A one time event, or a beginning of a new stage. Everyone's advice is spot on because it could be a number of things that triggered his physical violence towards you. I don't blame you for being afraid. But it's very important not to show this to him. He might use this new behavior to get his own way. Definitely try to get him to see the doctor to rule out UTI.
Something triggered this behavior (hopefully it's not a new phase). Is he in pain, or any new medication that may have caused the aggression? Hopefully, it's UTI.
I am afraid that you are in the same situation. Every month here in AZ. a dementia patient gets away from home and lost. If he needs care that you can't give him, it is time for him to move to a nursing home. (My mother resides in one.) I am sorry.
It cost nearly $1000 a month for two days a week and VA took care of it.
This disease is terrible as it can take some of the kindest people and turn them into dangerous people. This type of acting out behavior is one of the main reasons ALZ pts eventually get placed in a care facility. I would suggest you let your husbands doc know about this incident, perhaps a check up and a medication adjustment is needed. Please be careful. Don't underestimate the determination and physical strength your husband may have. Take care and I wish the best for you.