He is realizing he has a memory issue and I think he is depressed and has just given up on life. He went to a geriatic phyciatric doctor but wouldn't do anything she suggested for him to do and said she was wasting his time because he wasn't going to do what she suggested. She tried him on an antidepressant but all it did was increase his sleeping during the day and did not improve his mood at all.
Is this behavior of your husband's a radical change from his usual attitude to life?
I am so sorry you are going through this.
Ask either this or another appropriate mental health practitioner to explain to him in clear terms what is probably happening to his brain, his mood, and his behaviour; and then to prescribe a treatment plan, including antidepressants, which he will actually be able to follow.
I.e. one which does not depend on his having any self-motivation to speak of at the moment.
Meanwhile, protect yourself by blanking out, as well as you are able, any criticisms or pessimistic jibes from him - dismiss them on the grounds that these are not his real thoughts, and do not have any real basis. Don't listen to him any more than you'd ask a person with temporary sight loss for advice on a new hair tint. But DO listen to him when (if?) he talks about how *he's* feeling, and really listen.
He may well be angry at not driving or losing his independence, but it is unfair to direct it at you.
Does he stop this behaviour if you tell tell him 'enough'?
If not, I think I would be leaving the room every time there was any rudeness, ridicule or verbal abuse. Find hobbies at the other end of the house, go out a lot, watch the tv wearing headphones.
Is he physically independent?
:) dear granny, hugs!!...if possible, i think we all need sparkle/magic/something to look forward to! some project! work! some future fun event.
i hope things improve soon!!
bundle of joy