He has early stage Alzheimer's. We are trying to get him Medicaid eligible so he can stay at home and get services. He has nothing in his name but social security and a very small pension. He has been paying on these credit cards and has racked up unbelievable interest on these cards. He is making minimum payments. Am I responsible for his debt? They are not in my name. I don't want Medicaid to be denied because he lied to me about these debts. Thanks
Dementia probably caused at least some of his poor money management. That's the sort of thing that starts to break down before you notice any problems. You must be furious, but try to cut him some slack. Imagine how it was for him, watching things fall apart around him, unable to fix it, feeling ashamed and trying to hide things. It wasn't the smart way to handle it, but it was kinda natural and human and fallible.
Our Elder Atty has advised not paying even the minimum amts on the credit cards. He said to send him any letters that may come from the credit card companies. Very grateful he will handle this for us even w his fee. My husband's Alzheimer's may have started long before I realized it esp when it comes to financial errors w his business. I knew his business wasn't doing well the last couple of years but he kept telling me he was managing. I offered to help pay any bills as he was getting ready to retire. He did let me pay some but kept the rest hidden from me bc he was afraid to tell me. He figured he could pay those cards off gradually w his SS. Except the interest rates were unreal and it increased on all 3 cards very fast. He diverted the bills to a friend w me not knowing. The friend would either rip them up or give to him when they saw each other. My husband would do a phone call to the credit card company to pay on them monthly. Even his checking acct statements stopped coming in the mail to our house. I kept asking him why. He had changed the address on those too!!! So as much as his dementia has affected our lives, he knew enough to lie to me about all these debts. I finally went to bank w my POA paperwork and the bank filed it so I now have access to see his checking acct. he had numerous overdraft fees and insufficient funds!!! I hit the roof which of course had emotional affects at home. They almost cancelled his checking acct. I added a little money so he would have a balance. Now his direct dep of his SS and small pension will still be there and he has a positive balance.
Thanks so much to all of you for letting me vent. We are both seeing a psychologist.... Me for stress. he has seen one for years : depression, anxiety and OCD.
So grateful for his caregivers forum. Thanks again to all
Good Luck