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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My husband was placed in memory care three weeks ago as well. Until yesterday he was sharing a room with another man. Now he is in his own room. It may be too late for you now but our Case Manager suggested that before a loved one (or a not so loved one!) goes into care it may help with the transition if things from home are in place before admission. This way there is an immediate link to home.
My husband thinks that he is in a hotel. Not surprising since I put a "mini bar" into his room yesterday! Now he has his bookcase/books, CD player/CDs, the 42" screen TV that was in our living room, the duvet/pillows that were on his bed at home, his radio and table lamp from his study. The only thing that is missing is his MAC, which is OK because although he asks about it from time to time, he can no longer use it.
Given that the rooms are so large with a large en suite bathroom and that the food is prepared by a "Red Seal" chef, I would almost be tempted to stay there myself. At $2,000 per month it is costing less than what I am paying at home for city taxes, utilities and food!
Of course, I don't think that "someone" is "out to get me" so I am quite happy to visit twice a day--just 2 miles down the road. I am sure that the person who suggested that you stay away for seven weeks (why seven? Is he miraculously supposed to be adjusted by then?) had good intentions but, like Jeanne said, seven weeks seems more like abandonment.
As in all things, follow your heart. You know your husband better than any paid caregiver. I think that adjusting to a new situation (for both of you) is frightening enough without the added feeling that there is no one familiar around to reassure you that you are safe and loved.
Although I visit twice a day I only stay for about an hour at a time and some of that time is spent lying of the bed with my arms around him while we watch TV. Last night we had a glass of wine together--just like we did at home. The night before he got a manicure--just like we did at home. All you can do is reassure, over and over again.
It took six years of full time caregiving before I was ready, i.e. unhealthy enough, to place him in care. It was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. People told me that I could now get my life back. Yeah--that sounds fine until I realize that HE is my life. As I said to him "It's not the best, but it is the best I can do." Bring "home" to your husband and allow others to care for him while you start to give care to yourself.
7 weeks does sound a little extreme! I'd do what You think is best for him, but 1-2 weeks sounds reasonable. So sorry, this must be agonizing for you both! Take care!
My sister lives in a group home. If she moves to another home, I stay away for two weeks so she can settle in and focus on the new staff and roommates. It is for her benefit, not for mine.
I'm with Jeanne. You know your husband best, do what you think is right. The Memory care place I had my Mom in, also suggested I stay away. I smiled and thanked them . AND I showed up EVERY day. I stayed away on days my family was visiting but I was there 5 days a week. NOT all day. I went in the morning as I found this to be her best time and it worked for me as well. Somedays I joined her in the activities and others we did our own thing. Walks in the garden, Beauty day (nail filing and moisturizer), 'reading magazines together, walks down the hall, singing etc. You can actually find lots of things to do. She was entertained for an hour watching the landscaper do the lawns! GO and visit, you will feel a lot better!
I've heard the reasoning about letting the person settle in.
I don't think I could stay away from my husband for 7 weeks while he was in memory care. That doesn't sound like letting him settle in -- that sounds like abandonment.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My husband thinks that he is in a hotel. Not surprising since I put a "mini bar" into his room yesterday! Now he has his bookcase/books, CD player/CDs, the 42" screen TV that was in our living room, the duvet/pillows that were on his bed at home, his radio and table lamp from his study. The only thing that is missing is his MAC, which is OK because although he asks about it from time to time, he can no longer use it.
Given that the rooms are so large with a large en suite bathroom and that the food is prepared by a "Red Seal" chef, I would almost be tempted to stay there myself. At $2,000 per month it is costing less than what I am paying at home for city taxes, utilities and food!
Of course, I don't think that "someone" is "out to get me" so I am quite happy to visit twice a day--just 2 miles down the road. I am sure that the person who suggested that you stay away for seven weeks (why seven? Is he miraculously supposed to be adjusted by then?) had good intentions but, like Jeanne said, seven weeks seems more like abandonment.
As in all things, follow your heart. You know your husband better than any paid caregiver. I think that adjusting to a new situation (for both of you) is frightening enough without the added feeling that there is no one familiar around to reassure you that you are safe and loved.
Although I visit twice a day I only stay for about an hour at a time and some of that time is spent lying of the bed with my arms around him while we watch TV. Last night we had a glass of wine together--just like we did at home. The night before he got a manicure--just like we did at home. All you can do is reassure, over and over again.
It took six years of full time caregiving before I was ready, i.e. unhealthy enough, to place him in care. It was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. People told me that I could now get my life back. Yeah--that sounds fine until I realize that HE is my life. As I said to him "It's not the best, but it is the best I can do." Bring "home" to your husband and allow others to care for him while you start to give care to yourself.
I don't think I could stay away from my husband for 7 weeks while he was in memory care. That doesn't sound like letting him settle in -- that sounds like abandonment.