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Husband is 87, very thin, no short term memory. No one seems to be able to tell us why he needs to sleep so much. 15,16 hours a day. Won't drink enough so is dehydrated. Any ideas?
Thanks so much for your answers. The blood work shows the dehydration problem. We're doing a chart on the white board - he did get up to drink and eat cereal. Good start - is back in bed now. This problem is hard for me. We have been married for 62 years - happily so. But his sex drive is still very high - I have no interest. This morning he was angry because we didn't have sex last night --- wednesday night used to be a time for us. It's hard to deal with his anger about this.
Onlygirl, this was my experience with Mom before she died too. A lot of sleep.
Emartin, there is not much you can do. Your husband is reacting the way his body is telling him to. Try not to make him feel guilty for sleeping so much. (not saying you are doing that, just saying...). If you're worried about hydration, maybe try waking him up periodically to sip on some water or juice. He will go back to sleep without much problem.
Need a little more info on his physical health. My father began to do this prior to his death in May 2013. He was 90. He probably had ALZ disease but definitely dementia. Dehydration will cause you to sleep. Does he need fluids to be given to him through an IV? If there are no underlying medical conditions, his muscles will become weaker because he is not moving. If possible, get him outside in the light, a car ride perhaps?
My father, realizing that he could not leave where he was living, simply gave up. He had a very specific Advanced Directive. It was hard to watch but we did everything we could. He had to be the one who wanted to live. We could not make him.
Hopefully, this is not the case with your husband. Dehydration can also lead to kidney issues and failure. Again, contact the doctor to make sure there are no underlying medical issues. My best to you. You are a good advocate for your husband!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I had no idea that 87 year olds still had a high sex drive. wow. would it be too much to give him a handjob? He may just need some relief.
The blood work shows the dehydration problem. We're doing a chart on the white board - he did get up to drink and eat cereal. Good start - is back in bed now.
This problem is hard for me. We have been married for 62 years - happily so. But his sex drive is still very high - I have no interest. This morning he was angry because we didn't have sex last night --- wednesday night used to be a time for us. It's hard to deal with his anger about this.
Emartin, there is not much you can do. Your husband is reacting the way his body is telling him to. Try not to make him feel guilty for sleeping so much. (not saying you are doing that, just saying...). If you're worried about hydration, maybe try waking him up periodically to sip on some water or juice. He will go back to sleep without much problem.
My father, realizing that he could not leave where he was living, simply gave up. He had a very specific Advanced Directive. It was hard to watch but we did everything we could. He had to be the one who wanted to live. We could not make him.
Hopefully, this is not the case with your husband. Dehydration can also lead to kidney issues and failure. Again, contact the doctor to make sure there are no underlying medical issues. My best to you. You are a good advocate for your husband!