I am a home CNA specializing in dementia and I have a neighbor/ friend I have been caring for for 6 years since his wife passed and with no help from family ( his son) and only child. Who never checked or visited or anything the whole time I cared for him. Then his dad had a small T.A and was.still responsive. But the son swooped in for the money and put him in an unknown facility. Hoe could I find Him? He didn't want to go and was pretty adamant about this. Is there any free and legal why to locate him? The son won't tell me anyone know where he is? He needs me and has called and asked me.to come keep.my.promise. please help me find my.friend and longtime.friend. for atleast a goodbye.nfor.he and I. I still care for him home and beautiful yard,flowers ,pets ect. And.its so wrong not.to let him see my family and friend. Please help me.find.Larry
Could you write to him at his home address where you took care of him? It may be forwarded to his present address, if his other mail from the post office is being forwarded to him there. Tell him that you're looking for him and include your contact information. Include a note for his caregivers at his present location and ask them to contact you if he cannot.
The problem with this plan is that his mail may not be forwarded to him personally but to his son instead. But it might be worth a try.
If you're going in and out of his home, do you have permission to do that? You should not put yourself in the situation of being considered a trespasser. There could be legal problems.
If he is calling you, did you ask him where he is? Ask him to pass the phone to someone who can give you the information?
There is no way the son swooped in for the money. His fathers care needs to be paid with the funds he has before Medicaid will step in. If the son used any of Dads money for himself, Medicaid considers that a gift and will penalize Dad.
If you promised anything, you should not have because you had no authority to do so. The neighbor had to be deemed 24/7 care to be placed in Long-term care. If he had Dementia, he needed to be where he could be cared for 24/7.
I am surprised the son is not taking care of the house. At least putting it up for sale. He also should be dealing with the animals. I may contact him and ask what is he going to do about the upkeep on the house and the animals. In my Township a lien is put on the house every time they have to come in and mow grass on an abandoned property. Also, those animals were abandoned unless son made an agreement with u to feed them. Me, I wouldn't do it for free. There are fines for abandoning animals.
How can u find your neighbor? I would think he is near the son. Start calling every NH and Assisted living/memorycare in that area. Do not ask if a person is there, act like you know they are and ask for their room number so u can send a card. If he is there, you get the room#, if not just say you must have called the wrong NH.
Call Animal Control regarding the animals, and then move on with your life. This is not your problem, nor is it your business unless you have PoA. From what you've described he needs to be in a facility.
I hope you find your friend. Am sorry this is happening to you.
You obviously have a very kind heart. The world needs more people like you in it.
If it was me, I'd stop by the local Nursing Homes, etc and act very confident - and say "Hi, I'm here to visit (insert name) and smile. You might get lucky. I wouldn't ask if he was there because they are not allowed to tell you. But, if you pretend like you know for sure he's there - you may get lucky and find him that way.
This is now out of your hands. If you cannot gently ask the son to pass on a loving note to his father, then I am afraid at present this is no longer your business and there is little that you can do.
I wish you the best. Please don't put personal information about others or yourself in any postings on AC. The endangers people.