I asked if there was a fee. I was told no but I could donate to COA, not to the caregiver because they are not volunteering but are paid by COA. She said they will, bathe mom, sit with mom and do light housekeeping in her room. What exactly is light housekeeping?
Should I stay and observe the first time or get out of the house? I want to leave. I never get away.
I do everything and mainly want sitting with mom. What has been everyone’s experience with sitters? Do any of you ask for light housekeeping from them? Please share. Thanks.
They start tomorrow for four hours. Yay!
We did not stay and observe any of FIL's helpers. We allowed them to establish their own relationship. I would return 30 minutes or so before the 4 hours is over and ask the helper how it went and if s/he has any suggestions for or concerns about your dad.
Sounds good to me.
ETC. Mainly just a guide that meets your needs and the companies allowance for care.
I agree your LO needs to see people once in a while. But so do you. Get out when you can but don't let the companion company try to control you.
The ones I hired for Luz were very good. After a while it became that we got the same person each time. And they became friends. Luz was non-verbal so she just listened and watched TV but, I felt good and Luz did not seem troubled.
This info helps. Appreciate it.
Calm down or mom will pick that up and potentially get upset feeling your anxiety.
Don't micromanage, let them find their groove and you go enjoy the time.
Just concerned that it will be a good fit. Caregiver called and already wants to change schedule. Grrrrr. I told her no. We’ll see how it goes.
I hope you get a chance to talk to the caregiver first and tell her/ or him, a bit about your Mom and what you expect.
Introduce them to each other.
Maybe even sit down with a cup of coffee or tea then say ..."Mom, Sally is going to stay here while I run to the store" This is if you feel comfortable and your mom feels comfortable.
A few things to discuss with the caregiver:
In general how "good" is your mom with showers or bathing? If she is resistant I would make sure the caregiver knows that from the start.
What time of day is she at her best?
What are her favorite things to do, her favorite foods, shows, games?
Caregivers once they get to know someone can work wonders. BUT some people just don't "click" with others and if you think your mom is uncomfortable, you are uncomfortable or you do not think the caregiver they sent is the one to care for your mom ask for someone else. We all have personalities and some clash with others and it is not rude to ask for someone else. It is like the "Dating Game" and it might take more than 1 caregiver to find one that fits.
I would stay at least 20 minutes the first visit so that you can form a relationship with the caregiver. Over the many years that we took care of our parents we supplemented with many professional caregivers. Some of them were like people going through a revolving door, and others were with us for years. It is just the nature of the job. It was always so interesting getting to know them and the story of their lives. Share some facts or stories about you and your mother also. It is a leap of faith to trust a vulnerable adult with a stranger. We had to trust that the agency had properly vetted the worker, but instinctively, I felt that they would get better care if the professional caregivers saw their clients as well-rounded people who were more than just their problems and infirmities.
As others have advised, print out a list of what you expect to get done, as well as socializing with mother. The socializing would be hard to document, but you have at least written it down as part of your expectations.
Is the 4 hour block of time written in stone or can that be changed? I would tend to opt for two hours, so you could have respite to look forward to every week. If done efficiently, everything, including socializing could be done in a 2 hour time frame. I have seen it happen! After you get to know the caregiver, on subsequent visits, be ready to skeedaddle out the door! Preplan your jaunts, even if you just go to a coffee shop to sit alone. And whatever you do, be back on time out of fairness to the caregiver. I hope this respite time is enjoyable and a blessing for both you and your mother.
Light housekeeping would include, e.g. clearing away after a meal, washing up a cup or two, wiping down a table, hoovering a rug. But not cleaning the bathroom, mopping floors, washing windows. You should find the room as you would expect to have left it, sort of thing.