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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I’m very sorry to hear that. I can’t sleep either. I have frequent nightmares. Thankfully they are not about my father yet, but I’m sure they are due to stress. I’ve seen a therapist in the past, she recommended journaling to try to relieve stress. I’m very thankful for friends who are willing to listen and for this forum. Deep breaths. One day at a time, right?
Me too! Can’t sleep at all....finally when it’s early morning and a fitful night’s sleep....I DREAD getting up and doing the same thing everyday. Mom has dementia...Can’t really have a meaningful conversation with her anymore.....Her memory is shot except for things that happened 70 years ago. She constantly loses her cane and glasses, and we have to go searching. I cook everyday for us (my husband, mother and me)...no one says thank you. I keep a clean and orderly house for my own sanity but I’m starting to have nightmares...not sure why but Used to look forward to my comfortable bed...and some quiet peace....Now I can’t sleep hardly at all unless I take an Ambien. I HATE that. I’m sure for both of us it’s just stress. Somethings got to give. So grateful for this forum. Hugs!
It may not be stress. After menopause, lots of people never get a decent night’s sleep again.
If you aren’t being thanked, demand it! You sound like you’ve been a doormat for a long time. That’s a choice you made. You are the only one who can stand up for yourself and demand better treatment. I am amazed at the number of women who allow themselves to become slaves to their husband’s caprices. If you are tired of your master/slave relationship, think about what leverage you have and use it. You are trapped and the only way to change it is to demand change and if you don’t get it, stop providing whatever work you are doing and care you are giving, Make a plan and be prepared to walk out the door before you make your move and think very carefully about what approach will work and how to time it. Express yourself calmly after you tell your husband in advance that you need to have a completely private talk. Make an appointment with him for three or four days later, not at that moment. Tell him you want to think carefully about what you want to say before you sat it.
i found that antidepressants are much more effective than sleeping pills regardless of the cause of the insomnia. I asked my doctor for Prozac and after taking it every day for three weeks, I was sleeping again. Your internist can prescribe them without a trip to a mental health professional.. It sounds like you could use them for your anxiety, depression and stress anyway.
I don't have nightmares... But find it difficult to fall asleep... I am feeling so depressed that I decided to see a therapist. It happened to me in the past to feel depressed and have very negative thoughts. I always got out of that alone with some help of my husband and friends. Now I feel I need a professional. Think about it. I hope I will be given good tips to cope.
This sounds like a terrible situation. Most cities / communities have some sort of agency on aging where you can get an assessment of her level of care needs and options for other arrangements. They helped my stepmom apply for Medicaid when it was clear my dad would soon need nursing home care.
Regardless -you should not sacrifice your mental and physical health to care for your mom. If she were not living with you - you could focus on being her daughter. You will still be involved - there is always alot to do even if she doesn't live with you - but some one else (paid, gets to go home after shift) does the heavy lifting. And you get to restore your self.
Perhaps it’s time she went to another living arrangement (NH). It sounds like you are headed for a crash and that won’t help either of you. The stress of caregiving is great and I don’t think we sometimes realize how much until we have some relief from it. Best wishes
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I do believe nightmares can occur due to stress in our real lives. So if it is possible to change our circumstances the nightmares may cease.
I am so sorry you are having unpleasant dreams. I hope that one day you will experience only beautiful dreams.
If you aren’t being thanked, demand it! You sound like you’ve been a doormat for a long time. That’s a choice you made. You are the only one who can stand up for yourself and demand better treatment. I am amazed at the number of women who allow themselves to become slaves to their husband’s caprices. If you are tired of your master/slave relationship, think about what leverage you have and use it. You are trapped and the only way to change it is to demand change and if you don’t get it, stop providing whatever work you are doing and care you are giving, Make a plan and be prepared to walk out the door before you make your move and think very carefully about what approach will work and how to time it. Express yourself calmly after you tell your husband in advance that you need to have a completely private talk. Make an appointment with him for three or four days later, not at that moment. Tell him you want to think carefully about what you want to say before you sat it.
i found that antidepressants are much more effective than sleeping pills regardless of the cause of the insomnia. I asked my doctor for Prozac and after taking it every day for three weeks, I was sleeping again. Your internist can prescribe them without a trip to a mental health professional.. It sounds like you could use them for your anxiety, depression and stress anyway.
I am feeling so depressed that I decided to see a therapist. It happened to me in the past to feel depressed and have very negative thoughts. I always got out of that alone with some help of my husband and friends. Now I feel I need a professional.
Think about it. I hope I will be given good tips to cope.
Regardless -you should not sacrifice your mental and physical health to care for your mom. If she were not living with you - you could focus on being her daughter. You will still be involved - there is always alot to do even if she doesn't live with you - but some one else (paid, gets to go home after shift) does the heavy lifting. And you get to restore your self.
Maybe you should consider speaking to a therapist to help sort out your feelings. I went to a therapist and it does help.
All the best to you.