My mother can’t remember if my sister took it or she gave it to her already! What do I do? Change addendum? We don’t speak to my sister and my mother doesn’t hear from her anymore. I’m upset that this happened and angry. It’s the principal, not the $15,000 worth of jewelry. My sister was co-executor and relinquished her part also. The safe had jewelry and now is empty.
Send out a request to everyone that had access to the safe about any knowledge of who ended up with it. You could say that mom thinks she gave it to your sister and you just want to ensure she did actually receive it and distribute it with her girls.
You know that she will cause problems no matter what if that is her personality. You are smart to try to minimize issues.
I agree that sis took her share already. Thats why she backed out and hasn't kept in touch.
I suggest to anyone whose parents own jewelry worth a lot, they put it in a safe deposit box.
In my parents original Will they had left their house to a specific person. As it turned out - and I suspect happens a lot - they sold their house when they moved into Independent Living. They contacted their attorney to make an appointment to redo the Will - excluding the house. Their attorney told them it wasn’t necessary.
The original will also left me all my mothers jewelry. However, along the way - as time went on, my mother had given me all her jewelry other than her wedding set - for gifts at my birthday, Christmas etc.
So way further down the road, my mother wanted to change her will to add in her church. Mom brought up the jewelry issue to the attorney - and again, he said it wasn’t necessary but as that the Will was being rewritten anyway, the jewelry bequeath could be removed to “clean up” her will. Ultimately, mom chose to keep it in as the wedding rings were still with her - on her. And in spite of how mom liked to carry on about her Golden Child - my brother - she didn’t trust him as much as she’d have me to believe.
Sooo - even though your sister is out of the picture currently, it might be wise to keep the jewelry bequeath as is - just in case sister shows up at the funeral and makes a fuss about your mothers wedding rings.
As I’ve said here many times - death, wills, money and bequeathes seem to always bring out the worst in people.
And lastly - a disclaimer. The examples I sited regarding my parents/moms wills and the attorney advice is how it works in Oregon. Things could be different in the state in which your mother resides. Seems it’s always best to be safe than sorry - so you might want to run this all past your mothers attorney.
Your duties as executor do not go into effect until your mom passes.
https://www.orangecountyestateplanninglawyer-blog.com/personal-property-jewelry-division-estate/
It is a sad fact of life that I and nearly all other estate attorneys have observed that personal property often disappears without any trace unless steps are taken to preserve it. In the ideal situation, the entire house including the personal property is photographed immediately and then detailed lists are made, room by room, of what is there. Then, a personal property appraiser is hired to make a detailed listing of everything and appraise the values. Few people realize it, but there are professional appraisers. One resource is the American Society of Appraisers which can be found at http://www.appraisers.org/Disciplines/Personal-Property.
What can be done to recover missing personal property? The short answer to this is that very little if anything can be done. This is the classic case of once the horse is out of the barn the remedies are few an ineffective.
(Just a thought, I wonder if your sister relinquished her co-executor role after she emptied the safe and took your Mom's jewelry.)
{{{HUGS}}}
If your mother is competent, she can change the addendum to no longer mention those pieces of jewelry.
If not... I think I would write a letter that as of this date, these items mentioned in the addendum are not in their last known location and cannot be located. And leave it with the will.
Depending on family politics, I might send a copy to the relevant people asking them to provide any information they have. (NOT accusing anyone, just asking for facts.) But it sounds like you're already not on speaking terms, so maybe that would just make things worse here.
Some states - but not all - allow for a guardian or a conservator to make changes to a Will - but they will need to be able to explain and defend any changes to a judge in a court of law. As well the guardian or conservator must have been appointed to care for the estate and financial matters. Just because they are one - it doesn’t mean they are the other - person and/or estate.
Changes to the Will by a guardian or conservator must be shown to be necessary and in the best interest of the principal. For example - a house left to someone in a Will could be sold if it is proved that the principal needs the money to pay for nursing home costs. Not - “I’m gonna change the Will so I get the house because I deserve it for all the caregiving I have and continue to do”. Changes in a Will - shown to a judge that are self-serving could result in the guardian/conservator being dismissed and a new one being appointed by the court.
HOWEVER - all of that is way more information that you asked for. Sorry! But - no. In the situation you have described there needs to no changes done to the Will. Things like this as well as things like property being sold for care costs happen all the time.
It maybe a hard pill to swallow, but you may need to just let this go.