Our dad's health has spiraled down rapidly this year with him getting pneumonia and C-diff, He has been in and out of the hospital for the last month and was released to us last Sunday. He is extremely weak and is suffering from C-diff. We both work and were not sure where he should go, we want the best for him and realize we can't give it to him. He has a decent retirement and can afford to be in a home, just not sure which one is best. I feel he will need 24/7 assistance.
It is ok to say you are not able to care for him any longer. His needs are great, he needs care, and it will become more demanding and is a lot to do in your home. Are you saying he went to rehab after the last hospital stay? How long was he there? If he was in rehab it was not long enough.
Hopefully the physical therapy will help with his strength.
When he is over that you can see how strong he is and what activities of daily living he is going to need help with.
You can have a needs assessment done. I'm guessing from your description of his current state he would need a nursing home. But if he regains some of his strength, that could change. Apparently he has been able to be home alone while you work? That might mean he could handle Assisted Living if he recovers close to that level.
But there are people who make these assessments for a living, and the care center you pick out will screen him for appropriateness for their level of care. Don't take our guesses!
How to get a needs assessment? Contact the social worker in the hospital and ask how to go about this. Or contact your Area Agency on Aging. Or your county Human Services Department. One of you should be with him when the interview is scheduled. Sick elders sometimes exaggerate their abilities, and the assessor needs accurate answers. You might have to clarify, "Yes, Dad was able to fix his own lunch until the latest hospitalization."
You are VERY wise to recognize your own limitations, and to attempt to provide him with the best care for his circumstances.