My mom has COPD, is on oxygen 24/7, can no longer drive and doesn't leave the house. We have related living and my husband and I live upstairs. I love my mom and have always been close to her. I feel so helpless that she is in that condition and feel sorry for her. She doesn't always make it easy to be around her, doesn't want to eat, doesn't want to go to the doctor, tells me that she just wants to die in her sleep. It makes me almost dread being around her but then I'm extremely worried that her health can and most likely will get seriously worse and I'm worried how I will handle it when she finally passes. I feel helpless, depressed, guilty, frankly just a mess. For those of you who have felt like this, have you found a way to get grounded?
I keep busy and make time for my myself after I have taken care of her physical needs, her legal affairs and cleaning of her room. I excuse myself from being sucked into "sitting" and saying the same things over and over. Even writing that makes me feel guilty, but I cannot stay able to care for her if I don't take care of me. You sound like a wonderful daughter. May God give you the strength for each day.
Well I could go on but only hope this helps you to know you are not the only one putting your life on hold. Please watch your health. Eat heathy try to exercise and meditate. I know the pressure and it is all consuming. Hang in and keep in touch.
I'd have your momm checked out to see if meds could help her mood. Maybe, she's depressed. If you need meds, it's difficult to just will yourself to be feel better. I'd do the same for yourself.
Maybe, you need more sleep. Sleep deprivation can cause you to feel down, unmotivated, sad, etc. Working with getting your body feeling better can often make your mental health better. And try getting more nutritious food in your body. Not dieting, but, focus on good stuff.
I'll also suggest some things that may sound silly, but, they always pick me up. Granted, I don't suffer with depression, but, if you are just down and blue, I found that getting things accomplished around the house made me feel better. Such as cleaning and organizing drawers and closets, getting my finances updated and making a budget so I know I'm on track, painting a small room or wall in the house to add color, picking out a new shower curtain and decor for the bathroom, planting an herb garden on the porch, starting an exercise program. These are things that helped pick me up and made me feel more grounded, enthused and excited about my life.
Could your mom join you in any of these things? I know that her COPD might limit her activity. If she sees you feeling better, maybe, she'll get motivated.
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