In the wee hours of the morning, when I can't sleep or am awakened by my husband, I feel a depth of despair that frightens and upsets me. It's always better in the morning. Anyone heard of caregiver sundowning? Any tips on managing those awful moments?
Thank you!
I have awful episodes of anxiety. I’ll finally sit up in bed in the middle of the night and play on my iPad for an hour or more. I tried Ambien and Xanax but neither worked for long. I’ve found that distracting myself by playing in the iPad helps. Most often I’ll lay back down and doze off for an hour or so.
"A friend of Cathy's in Detroit, a woman who has seen a therapist regularly for the past thirty years, recently passed on advice the therapist had given her. Pay no attention to the terrors that visit you in the night. The psyche is at its lowest ebb then, unable to defend itself. The desolation that envelops you feels like truth, but isn't. It's just mental fatigue masquerading as insight.
"Cathy reminds herself of this as she lies sleepless on the slab of mattress. Her impotence in helping Della has filled her mind with nihilistic thoughts. Cold, clear recognitions, lacerating in their strictness. She has never known who Clark is. Theirs is a marriage devoid of intimacy. If Mike, John, Chris, and Palmer weren't her children, they would be people of whom she disapproves. She has spent her life catering to people who disappear, like the bookstore she used to work in.
"Sleep finally comes. When Cathy wakes the next morning, feeling stiff, she is relieved to see that the therapist was right. The sun is up and the universe isn't so bleak..."
I'm not sure I'd necessarily recommend the strategy that follows, mind! - but I don't want to spoil the story :)
I think recognising the reality of how you feel, and understanding why, is the best way to get patiently through it.
Unless... you do like learning poetry? Having favourite lines to recite in your head might be soothing.
Have you started to look into other options that will allow you to get your life back?