I don't know what to do. The 88 yr old Aunt is great, no problems. But the 81 yr old aunt just got diagnose with severe dementia. She was taking care of the 88yr old but now her memory loss gets in the way. She does things she forgot she did already and annoys neighbors. She wants to drive and fights, argues, say awful things to me every morning. I'm trying to keep them at their house. I don't want to put the in a care home. Any advise for me?
With the 81 yo having dementia, she should not be caring for the older aunt. It's a safety issue. It sounds like the severe diagnosis was just recently given. The severe stage just doesn't happen overnite. Symptoms worsen over years and long before someone has gotten to the severe stage, other symptoms would have been obvious.
Do not give your aunt the car keys. You don't mention anything about the 88 yo, but at this point, it sounds like both should be looking at AL facilities.
They both need to be kept safe. A Care home can do that.