All he wants and loves is when I come in and cook an old fashioned meal for him.
How do I create 2 hours of time, with someone that other than his Dementia which is in the beginning stages really doesn't want me around because he is independent.
How do I tell the daughters, he just walks me to the door each time? (With pleasantness however)?
I am usually there for 1 hour and that is really a lot of empty time, as he is in his tv room with the tv on, and I am just in the kitchen preparing his meal.
You can just tell him, “Yes, I’m going to leave in ‘a few minutes’. First I’m just going to clean the bathroom.” Then it becomes, ‘Yes, I’m going to leave in a ‘few minutes’. First I’m just going to vacuum the floor.”
See if he resists.
It will save them money (actually it will save him money as I am sure you are being paid from his account)
It might be best if you have a "sign in log" and when you come in write down the time and when you leave write down the time. That way if one day you need 2 hours it will be indicated the next day you might need an hour and that will be in writing. At the end of the week they can pay you for the hours that you have worked.
As he declines and needs more help you can discuss that with them.
At least they know you are honest and not sitting on your phone for an hour just to be there for 2 hours as they want. That way when you discuss with them that you think he needs a bit more help than you can give him in 1 or 2 hours they will trust what you are telling them.
to be independent
One of the first things my line manager ever said to me was "we work to the job, not to the time." Usually this means that if a call *over*runs we still have the luxury (it is a luxury, in social care circles) of staying for as long as need be (within reason), but this works both ways. If the client has already got himself washed and dressed and has his breakfast all ready to eat we praise him, document it, check all is well and are on our merry way in fifteen minutes.
What sort of activities are the daughters worried that their father isn't coping with?
I would just sit with him sometimes and make small talk. Maybe ask if you can turn off the TV so you can ask him a question about his service in the military, his school or child hood or some photo you are there..
Maybe you ask him for help..." Hey Bob, could you help me find the silverware?" Or Joe could you help me with this drawer or with the puzzle or what ever you are doing. Maybe he would help you take a walk....
" Can I show you this book about Airplanes? "
Being creative is fun and will pass the time more quickly for both of you!
Best wishes,
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