The least problem is ensuring she takes her medication correctly. She will often take it but not at the proper time or manner. For example, she takes a medication for her thyroid, it is supposed to be taken alone and half an hour before taking anything else or eating to work correctly. She just takes it with all her other morning meds and eats her breakfast right away. She has continued to live alone although she is now 80 years old. However we have now encountered a problem. I have her durable poa as of about 5 months ago and have been her primary medical poa for the past 3 and a half years. Two weeks ago tomorrow, she was found by a neighbor, in the middle of a seizure. She was unable to speak, partial numbness on one side and droopy face on the other. She was life flighted to the nearest large hospital capable of handling that type of trauma which is about a 3 - 4 hr drive from my home. While on the drive I was called to authorize a breathing tube as she was having another seizure. My mom has a state registered DNR but nothing was displayed in her home, the ER did not know to attempt access as they did not know. I authorized the tube with the understanding that it would give the family enough time to get there to say goodbye. The entire family (children/grandchildren) was in attendance that evening. The tests did not show a stroke as we had thought, she still had substantial brain activity and her heart seemed strong although she was unresponsive we decided to give it some time. The next day she would open her eyes and respond to pain stimuli but nothing else. We gave her 5 days, then decided to let her go. The entire family again arrived at the hospital and prepared to let her go. We were amazed that a miracle had happened, she was back , she was responding to various stimuli. We decided to wait two more days to give her lungs time to get stronger. It had been discovered that she had a broken rib and punctured lung due to a couple of falls over the previous 3-4 days prior to the discovery, she did indeed have a mild stroke and a mild heart attack. So a series of events (over about a 24 hour period) along with a variety of mild infections in her body is believed to have been the cause of her current situation. She has been having episodes of confusion, hallucinations, and paranoia that come and go since I have been her caregiver. These have all been constant and ongoing since she woke up. We the family believe it is the onset of full on dementia, the doctors insist all of the other problems need to be dealt with first as they can cause these type of symptoms. They are agreeing that my mother needs to be placed temporarily in a rehab/nursing facility. We want to place her permanently, we do not believe that she will be safe to continue to live alone. While it is solely my decision due to the paperwork that has been completed, I am happy that my family supports my decision. I have been trying to for months to get my mother to go to a nursing facility as I believe it would be best. She has been reluctant, disagreeable and downright belligerently against it. She falls on average twice a week if not more, she refuses to continue physical therapy on her own to become stronger and have better mobility and will not do anything to help herself. She cannot or will not live with any of us (family members). My question is would I have to have her declared incompetent to force the issue of seeing her in a long term care facility rather than the temporary time period the doctors are agreeable to? Please advise me as I really do not know what to do, I have been discussing the situation with various professionals in the medical and social work field but am still very confused.
The first step is to have her admitted to a nursing/rehab facility for the amount of time the doctor sees fit. Then she will be downgraded to long-term custodial care. That is where you start. Then after she's there for a while she may change her mind about living with you or another family member.