I have a serious issue going on here with myself. My 86 yr. old mother has been living with me and my husband since May. She is on Hospice care for a mass on her kidney. She had hip surgery, not replacement, and now cannot walk. She needs assistance to get to the bedside commode and in her chair.
I have a wonderful caregiver for her that comes 3 days a week while I work. My mother always makes up excuses why the caregiver shouldn't give her a bed bath or wash her hair. On my days off my mother than wants me to do this. First off, I am not comfortable giving my mother a full bath. I have, but reluctantly. I used to wash her hair, but now it gives me more time if the caregiver can do it. I am not being selfish, but I am very behind in getting things done in the house, grocery shopping and other things that need to be done. I can't even talk on the phone anymore. I'm not a phone talker to begin with, but I can't talk with my kids like I used to.
Today I have a sink full of dishes, laundry and need to clean my car out....I am a nanny and we have little trips we go on.
I have to wash my mom's hair and bathe her.
When I explain that is what the caregiver is for, she gets quiet and acts like a child. Then I feel guilty.
I feel resentful, frustrated, angry and guilty all at the same time. Then I just cry.
I have a sister in law who thinks helping is cooking dinner every few weeks and having a little party here and laughs everything off.
I am at the very end of a frayed rope. When I go out to the store or even after work, I have thought of just driving away.....just to keep going.
She hates my one dog and lets everyone know it.
I don't know what to do!!!!!
Her health seems to be fine except for her legs. The nurse always says her numbers are great. WTH!!!! Is this going to go on forever? I am 60 and love to enjoy my life.
I know many of you are going to say why did I take her?! I do love her, but never imagined my life would be taken away, even with a caregiver.
No negative or snide remarks please. You'll push me over the edge! lol
Thank you!!!!! and God bless!
Hang in there. Use your caregiver time for what You need! You’ll feel better for it.