Hello,
I'm a 24 year old newlywed who became responsible of my 90 year old grandmother 3 months ago when my grandfather got hit by a car in November. I've searched for guidance in this process, but seems like I'm running around in circles. It's just me and my husband and for this reason it's been very difficult. We're doing the best we possibly can but sometimes I fell she'd be better off in a facility that can provide the care she needs. I do everything with my heart but I don't have the knowledge to handle this disease, and it becomes extremely difficult and stressful at times. I don't know if I can deal with the guilt of placing her in a facility that can help, but at the same time I had to stop working, school and even had to turn in my car. I'm lost, really lost. She's always been there for me, raised me and guided me, It's always been me and her since I was born. I feel it's my turn to do the same for her yet there are so many other factors. I'm open to any advice. Also, I don't know how to go about having her legal custody in order to manage her Dr. appointments and finances.
Please Help,
Bianca
Thank you all xoxo
Your grandmother worked hard to bring you to a point where you could function independently. All good parents look forward to seeing their children leave the nest and build a life of their own. If your grandmother were in her right mind, do you really think she would approve of you dropping school, giving up work, and not having a car? Isn't that the opposite of what she worked hard to enable?
Guilt pretty much goes with the territory when you are a caregiver. If you manage to keep her home and she falls or has minor or major disasters, you will feel guilty that you didn't find a care center for her. If you find a good center you will feel guilty that you aren't doing everything yourself. Try to push the guilt way to the back of your mind, and do you best to make objective decisions that are best for Grandmother.
Best of luck.
For the meantime, you may be able to cope with her condition by learning more about the disease. It would be better to treat her the way you would treat a healthy individual.
Maybe you can check on this for a better understanding of Alzheimer's and how to cope with it: www.infolongtermcare.org/long-term-health-care-seniors/diseases-in-elderly/what-is-alzheimers-disease/
Best of luck..
You love your grandma and youre doing everything to help her but now it may be time to let the professionals take over I know this is hard but it comes to us all you need to first get POA and start looking for a good NH that specialise in Als. My neighbours dad is in a home now over a year and hes happy and comfortable the family visit everyday and the staff are brilliant.
You need to speak to her doctor and tell him you are not coping its the hardest decision anyone of us will have to make!
Big Hug!
Thank you :)
With a little more background you will probably get more specific responses.