My mom is 90 years old and lives with me. She is barely mobile due to a bad knee and she also has vascular dementia. She has gained a good deal of weight over the past several years. Her doctor has told me that she would benefit from losing weight but he hasn't told her that. She eats more sweets and carbs than ever before. I feel as though her dementia impacts her ability to monitor her intake. I prepare all of her meals and feel guilty when I limit her choices. Over the holidays she received gifts of sweets which she hoards and I feel as though I can't take them away from her. She doesn't have that much pleasure in her life and so I am conflicted about depriving her of the foods that she likes while then feeling guilty that I am contributing to her bad habits. Ugh. I could use some help. Any thoughts?
I believe that I've read that as dementia patients progress, their taste buds become dulled to many flavors except for sweetness.
On the other hand, as you say, food is one of her few pleasures left. And it is difficult to lose weight and perhaps maybe wouldn't really change the trajectory of your mom's life and care at this point. (For example, perhaps she will soon need to be in a facility anyway where trained staff and Hoyer lifts, etc. will be better able to take care of her than family at home.)
Difficult decisions! I think at the very least I would dump large amounts of the sweets when she is not around her hoard, leaving only token amounts left. I wouldn't feel any guilt about that.
What did the doctor say would be the beneficial impact of weight loss for mom? Better mobility? Is she diabetic? Better heart/lung function?
I would weigh your mom's quality of life carefully against generic weight loss. As you say, she has few pleasures left in life.
Is she seeing a geriatrics doctor?