i need time for me, mom won't go along with respite (dr. suggested location). Mom wants inappropriate relatives instead. These people are not dependable, that's why we'd like two weeks of year for her in respite so we can take vacation to see our kids in another state. We live in FL winters. Mom has her place we have ours. We bought our condo so we could be nearby. I don't mind having her in FL and part of summer, but not all the time. We take care of all her needs, including being at her place overnight when ill, afraid, etc. We drive her everywhere all the time. For summers we care for mom in our home. Her health is failing, she is becoming difficult and demanding. My sister is poa and exec of the estate and will not take care of mom. I'm getting angry that I care for her and she won't help be for two weeks by going into respite so I can have a decent respite for me. We are arguing, I finally told her to shut up! I don't deserve her carrying on about her wishes that won't work and will ruin our plans when her people back out (This has happened before a number of times). My husband has interceded for me so at least I have that. My sister,POA and exec, has been a real jerk. I want to know if I can put mom into respite without mom or sisters input. Sister will not take her, mom doesn't want to go.
It's getting worse by the day, I may seem a bit harsh, but I need to live my life.
DOING A GREAT JOB!! that is a whole heck
Of alot of caring and your sister should be ashamed!! My father is main care giver but
I help him tremendously with my mother and
I know with all his hard work he needs to hear
That occasionally. You too deserve what you
Need and a couple of weeks is not alot to ask!
Do what needs to be done to make it happen
Good luck and God Bless YOU!!
I'm with the others: make your arrangements, advise your sibling that this is when you'll be leaving, and do. not. let. her. make. you. feel. guilty. Just go. You can deal with the aftermath (if there is any) when you get back.
my entire spine is permanently damaged ALL BECAUSE MY MUM WAS TOO SELFISH TO ACCEPT ANY HELP FROM ANYONE BUT ME .
things happened to force the issue that mum go into permanent care, but point is, her selfishness has cost me my health, my mobility and shaved years off my life. I am only 49, but people say I look 70.
thanks to my mums selfishness, I have probably had 30 years taken off my life.
and the worst part is, I cried our for help, but all the agencies refused to help me just because mum wanted help from no one but me.
I will never forgive my mother for the way she deliberately shortened my life just so she could have longer at home
all these do gooders who say let the oldies stay at home and force the children to look after them forget that children too have their right to have their life and not to have their life destroyed.
all if you who are forced to be your parents sole carer, start doing drastic things to get out of it, ie, scream at the top of your lungs until the neighbors call the police - I guarantee that will get you attention and help. Call the ambulance and when the ambulance arrives, run off somewhere, but I think your best bet would be to scream and scream at the top of your lungs until the neighbors call the police. When the police arrive, burst into hysterical sobbing that you can't cope with caring for your parents - even threat on suicide - that will get you out of having to continue caring for your parents. I wish I had the guts to do that and I would never have dine permanent damage to my spine.