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Specifically, I believe my landlord, who is in his early 80s, is being financially abused. He is also being isolated & neglected by his adult children. I have lived at his property for almost 8 years now. Each month I pay rent in-person & visit with my landlord. I often bring him home cooked meals & I cut his hair. Lately he seems very depressed & the last time I visited it was clear he had soiled himself. I told him if he needed any help, I would be happy assist with anything. But he’s such an old school gentleman, I don’t think he’d ever actually ask for help.
Then 2 weeks ago his daughter & son showed up at my home unannounced & began screaming at me (honestly, verbal abuse) that I was to stop asking questions about his well being, to mind my own business & that the daughter was POA & I am to have no further contact with my landlord. Ever. I requested proof that she had POA on multiple occasions & she refuses. She then threatened to have me evicted. I’ve already contacted the local housing authority about the adult children’s harassment, threats, etc they’ve directed at me. They violated several laws & I documented everything. I have been asked by the local authorities if I want to get a restraining order, I am considering it, but still fear retaliation. I do not believe the daughter has POA. She is simply a Trustee to his estate.
I’ve had a ten year friendship with my landlord & feel something’s very wrong. The adult children have made many comments about obtaining the property & assets of their father in recent months. They are excited about the wealth they will inherit. Both are unemployed.
I don’t know how to best support my landlord & friend. I’ve been thinking about contacting APS, but not sure if it would be effective or just invasive.
I genuinely fear significant retaliation, so I want to report anonymously.
Any advice is appreciated.

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Thank You all for your advice! Truly appreciated. I was chatting with a friend who’s friends with my landlord’s former personal assistant & learned the assistant actually contracted APS just over a year ago because of the daughter’s behaviors. The assistant then left the job.

I agree it’s time for me move out. Problem is that I live in the San Diego area & it’s currently on par with Jackson Wy or Aspen Co… very difficult to obtain housing of any kind. I actually have the son & daughter on video gleefully celebrating the idea that I would potentially struggle. Just unnecessary & cruel. But I’ll be okay. I’m familiar with this forum because I was my father’s caregiver. He passed away a few months ago & made me his sole heir. He set me up to never have to worry about finances again. I am not an opportunist. I’m good.

I am genuinely concerned about what is happening to this elderly man. I suggested hiring a part time caregiver & the daughter lost it. Ideally I will find a new home soon & then will contact ASP. I’m meeting with my own lawyer I keep on retainer tomorrow & if he thinks I should call sooner I will.

But I really do value the advice I can get from those on this forum. Priceless knowledge from people in the trenches of elder care. Thank you all again!
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Invisible0ne
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PeggySue2020 Aug 20, 2024
Actually, being a tenant as you are, sharing a small property with the man, you can’t help but notice if he is soiled or looks unkempt or is wandering or what have you. You’re not reporting him because you want property, you’re reporting on him as it’s obvious he’s not getting care.

As you live in California, they can’t just throw you out immediately if you keep paying the rent.
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I like the part about moving out and then calling APS.

Is your landlord showing signs of Dementia? If not, his daughters POA means nothing. Unless he has a formal diagnoses of Dementia.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Go ahead and report anonymously. There's nothing to stop you. However you will not be contacted with any update, so I am not certain how you can be certain when or if they carried through on your notification. Tell them the reason you are reporting anonymously. Be certain not to use your own phone. You can also request a wellness check by the police the same way.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I’d move out and call APS .

The kids will probably figure out it was you that called APS .

When your landlord dies , the kids will
kick you out ( not renew your lease ) anyway and one of them probably live in your apt .
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Reply to waytomisery
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You have written about your suspicions of abuse. If you hold such suspicions, report to APS.

However, I would phase it as CONCERNS for this elder you know, have known for a long time.

APS can open a file & do welfare checks. Take it further if needed.

Just remember there are always differences to how a situation appears, depending on where you stand.

Eg 1. Elder says: I am FINE.

Eg 2. Adult children: can VARY
Can see nothing, can see an elder slipling in skills, can see a elder no longer coping.
This does NOT mean they hold any power to change things.

Friends/Neighbours/Aquaintences:
May be well intentioned. May see an elder needs help but may MISS points 1 & 2.

There are also opportunists - these can be anywhere. Those looking for an easy target & a free home. It could be an easy assumption for the adult son/daughter to see you as such.. (as an overly involved tennant in a landlord's welbeing but also his financial matters)
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Reply to Beatty
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APS as a rule does not divulge who reported. And if this gentleman is sitting in his own waste unable to help himself, that’s what the reporting is for.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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