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Hey all! Thank you so much for all your supportive replies. I am sorry I haven't been on lately to read them - but I just caught up. Mommy dearest hasn't ceased her constant, multiple daily calls. I do not answer them. I have told her several times that I am busy and working and will talk to her once a week. She still finds reason to call me and complain (not that I am answering the phone, but I can see my transcribed voicemail text messages.) I now actually am getting a kick out of the things she has come up with, such as:

Her AL is worse that Peyton Place.
I need a new F&*%ing PHONE!!!
I still need hangers!
I'm hungry!
They aren't giving me my meds.
They are only feeding me desserts!
Why aren't you answering your phone@! You never answer your phone!

The list goes on and on. It's actually pathetic. I do speak to her 1x a week and I start the conversation with - are you going to be nice or mean? If your going to be mean, I will hang up and talk to you next week. The call usually lasts 5-10 minutes before she starts in with me.

BUT....the best thing in the world is that I got her out of MY HOUSE and I am in control. I can decide when and for how long I will talk to her. I am so thankful to all of you who have helped me get to this point.
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NeedHelpWithMom Sep 2023
Hey, you have the right attitude! Free entertainment! We will be on the lookout for your new standup comedy show! You definitely have more than enough material to put on a great show!

Congrats on seeing your situation in a new light. I realize that you have a painful relationship and I am not making fun of your circumstances at all.

I am smiling because you have developed a new perspective.

It takes time, support and sometimes therapy to make changes in our lives. I have enormous gratitude for my therapist.

I struggled with my circumstances for way too long. It feels good to laugh instead of cry, doesn’t it?

Wishing you all the best.
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My saga continues...I guess it's time to cut the ties. As my mother continues to blow up my phone by calling me 10-15 times a day, today's message included how she called the bank and found out she has $1400 in her account and how she's going to spend it. It also included how she's not paying for any of her out-of-pocket med expenses "those are on you!" Of course, I moved her money out of her account so she can't spend it and called an attorney.

I now am going to bite the bullet and pay $3-5k to get out of being POA and get a public fiduciary assigned by the court. I am so done. She is exhausting and loves to push my buttons. It pains me that I have to spend my money to have this handled, but there is no other option. I cannot just withdraw as POA without being charge with elder abuse. I want all of you to know the horrible mess I have gotten myself into. As they say "no good deed goes unpunished!" That is for sure. I never want to see her or speak to her again. She has caused nothing but misery to me.
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Decide with your husband what kinds of support you can provide. If you can not afford more for her desires, then don't provide them. Decide how often you want to visit or talk to her and stick to your schedule. Then, visit or call as you have already planned. To prevent her escalating calls, let her know when you will call, visit, and limit of your care. Let her know that you will stick to your plan. You must consider how to deal with her problem behaviors. Please consider reading any of the "boundary" books by Townsend and Cloud. These counsellors have a step by step approach to dealing with problem behaviors - that works!
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