My husband, age 66, was diagnosed with frontal-temporal dementia a year ago, but I now realize he was showing signs much earlier after years of being treated for epilepsy (tonic clonic). Although his seizures are now better managed, the dementia is progressing faster. He has lost the ability to find the right words and converse with others. His cognitive abilities are very poor. His behavior is aggressive at times. He used to be handy around the house, but now he is very destructive trying to "fix" things that don't need fixing. He is easily confused and has wild mood swings, delusions, paranoia and hallucinations. He is still strong and can easily overpower me and I'm not a small woman. At times, he is sweet and passive. Other times, he's like a destructive robot when he's fixated on something. I've hidden all guns in the house and will be having them removed ASAP. While his hygiene has become worse, he is still able to bathe and use the toilet, though sometimes, he has trouble finding the toilet. I'm in the process of getting in-home assistance so I can be away for a few hours as needed, but I'm a worried that no one will want to deal with him. I honestly don't know how much longer I can manage him at home. You can't really make a timeline for planning out care for this type of disease. Any advice or comments are appreciated.
its been a nightmare getting to this point. He is 63. We live in Australia and luckily care is pretty good and a lot is subsided or free as he is on a disabled pension
he is now under the early onset Dementia umbrella and Dementia Australia will help by putting him in a special programme for same. They have directed me to a support group and he (me) will be getting nine weeks per year respite care soon, free. Knowing this has boosted my spirits and patience greatly
however, the moment he can no longer care for himself eg toilet, ( not worried about dressing or shower) or feed himself I will be placing him in care. I will not be changing diapers and such. Also my husband can’t bear the thought of me having to do it
my advice is to seek advice on transitioning to permanent care. Start getting your affairs in order for this. Make sure you have power of attorney and enduring care. Don’t leave it to the last minute. Very few are capable of looking after the ones we love to the degree they will eventually need
I hope you do find good support at home for the time being; but given that you know there will be turning point I feel there's a lot to be said for getting ahead of it.
Watch for signs of dehydration. That may affect his ability to stand and walk.
I found an agency that provided companion services so I could go shopping for a few hours.
She did become combative when she wanted to do something no matter how wrong it may have been.
It became 27 hours a day and 8 days a week. At least it felt that way.
No two cases will be the same.
Please come here often for advise or to just vent.
I went thru this for nearly three years and did not have a single day off for myself. Just a few hours for shopping or medical procedures. I was worn out but as I look back on it I cherish every moment of it now that she is gone.
Eventually I was forced to give up because I was injuring myself by lifting her.
I wish you the very best of luck and prayers.
As for hubby not being able to find the toilet, do you mean the toilet itself or the bathroom? If it is the toilet, I read that making the wall behind the toilet a bolder color [no light colors] that it would make finding the toilet easier. And read that changing the toilet seat to something other than white may help. Of course, trying to find a toilet seat in blue, green, black or red may be a challenge.