my father has dementia. I help him with his bills, medications, etc. twice hes taken my name off his checking account. hes getting ready to do it again cause he doesn't remember putting my name on it. I have POA. I understand his disease is making him paranoid but I'm tired of constantly being accused of stealing his pills, messing with his account.he also has 5 loaded guns in his house. help!
We are metting with our OWN attorney on Friday to make certain we are legally protected and not responsible for anything.
I hate to say it, but it is kind of like advice they give to couples getting a divorce -- never, never use the same attorney.
Meds... I'd get a daily pill box so your father can see how the meds are being allocated.
I would also video tape him agreeing to place you on the checking account and when he accuses you of lying show him the clip.
My FIL is in the process of the same thing happening. He had my husband POA and took him off over a phone bill. I honestly think attorneys need to be aware of held accountable if a client has a medical history of mental instability, dementia or alzheimers that once a family goes in and sets everything up, they can just change it on a whim. It is unfair and to be honest, downright stupid that an adult child can be charged with neglect but all these mentally unstable seniors running around can freely do what they want with no consequences.
My husband now has POA again and said if it is changed again, he is walking away for good -- dementia or not. He says the state can handle him.
As far as the guns, get them out of the house. Different people say to do it different ways from just take the dang things to getting police or other family involved. Do what is best for you and legal but guns in the hands of a mentally unstable senior citzen is no more needed than in the hands of a unstable teen.
My FIL went through this too and the iciing on the cake was getting called to his house finding him with a gun to his stomach. He too has been diagnosed with paranoid disorder. People will say get blanks, take firing pins out, etc. Sometimes if a gun is older, it is almost impossible to remove the pin and blanks are not readily available for all guns and you can still get an injury.
The longer we endure this situation with my FIL, the more I believe that much of this is just horrible, bad behavior that their family put up with for years and no one ever said no to them because many were bullies in the family and got their way. Sort of like those kids that you know not one person ever sat down and told them to behave. My FIL has been a piece of work his entire life and people were afraid to stand up to him. I know there are exceptions, but honestly, I think they are rare.
Good luck and stay safe.