I posted on here a few years ago. My dad (88-years-old) has been in a NH for the past 2 years. He is wheelchair/bed bound with swallowing issues. He had a dementia diagnosis about 10 years ago, but he's all there cognitively so IDK. Anyway, he had a fall from wheelchair about 10 days ago needing 12 stiches and then Wed he developed a 'sudden' bedsore at the small of his back and became catatonic. They sent him to the ER and has since been in ICU with 12 different diagnosis from sepsis, diabetic shock, aspiration pneumonia, UTI, kidney stone, plus more. I had a hospice consult yesterday that will start when he is discharged. He failed his swallow test so can someone please tell me what the heck is going to happen? I know no one knows but will the hospital discharge him in this condition? It seems so cruel I don't know what will happen when they take the IV out (hospice said no IVs) that is the only way he is getting real nutrition or hydration. My MIL hung on quite a while on hospice last year with no food/drink, but she was basically unconscious. My dad is still there to some degree. He keeps asking for water.
I am finishing a year of breast cancer treatment next week and I feel like I just can't do this. Thank you for letting me get this out!
Stay strong.
Your Dad sounds very tough. It is amazing he is still enjoying sips of food, water and tv.
I just wanted to say sorry about your dad, and about your cancer.
No judgement here! Take care of yourself.
🙏💓💐
I'm just so surprised with all of the infections he had and no longer on insulin how he has stabilized to this point. He is still immobile - no longer able to use his hands or move his contracted legs, but he can still say a few words and eats a few bites/sips of thickened food, does not seem to be in pain.
If he is eating a bit, great. Use pureed foods if need be.
Don't be tempted to do a feeding tube. (If you were to do that you would have to drop Hospice as they will not do it, but they will accept someone on Hospice that already has a feeding tube.) As the body shuts down and your dad does not eat he is not going to feel hunger like you or I do. His body does not need the nutrients, it can not process the food either.
Just be there for dad.
Let him know that you will be alright.
The Hospice Nurse can let you know what signs to typically look for when he gets closer to End of Life or is "Actively Dying". the Hospice Team can request a trained Vigil Volunteer to be with dad, and you during that time. So even if you are not there a Volunteer will be there so he will not be alone.
🙏🙏
I would ask if that sore is a Kennedy ulcer. If so, thats a sign of the body dying too. The skin starts to break down. Did the Doctor/Nurse agree that Hospice is the best course at this time. I think it is.
They can swab is mouth to keep it moist . He’s most likely asking for water because his mouth is dry .
I’m sorry , I understand it’s difficult , hospice will keep him calm and comfortable.
I agree it can be more difficult when they are awake asking for things than when they are in a coma .
Others would rather have LO awake and can talk with them .
Hopefully he will find peace soon .
I'm just so sorry! You said you mil was on hospice, so I'm sure you understand that yes they remove and stop everything that is life saving, and it's all about comfort now. IV's are not comfortable. The meds that hospice gives you will make your dad comfortable.
It sounds like it's time to let your dad go with all the comfort he can get. I'm sure he is tired of being poked at. He just wants to rest now
Best of luck. I'm so sorry, please try to take care of yourself.