They are in great health, but are experiencing the usual symptoms of aging. Neither have dementia or any other other chronic illnesses. I am a nurse in Philadelphia and familiar with normal signs of aging and they do not exhibit any mental health disorders, however, they are denying that they are aging. They are selective in the help that they want from me, but also feel very entitled to any of the help I do give them. I am trying to find information about aging adults WITHOUT dementia, not aging adults WITH dementia. Could you share any information or resources with me about that perhaps?
I know and have known before many, many people in their late seventies, eighties and indeed nineties who, while undeniably old, are managing fine. I'm not clear what you expect your parents to be doing that they're not doing?
I am in my early 70's and I have age related decline. Mainly when it comes to energy. No more hiking 20 some miles in a weekend. We are lucky to "hike" once around the mall :P
Yard work is too much physically to do anymore, so I had to open up my wallet and pay for the work to be done. I also use to do fix it things around the house..... oops, no more climbing up ladders, again have to pay someone. I use to wash and wax my vehicle on a regular basis, forgetaboutit, now I drive it through a car wash. Oh, don't get me started on napping !!
gmercyu, whatever you do, do NOT enable your parents. As JoAnn pointed out, set boundaries. If your parents can afford to pay people to come to the house to help maintain the house, let Mom and Dad pay for it. That was my big mistake with my parents. It became too exhausting. My Dad couldn't understand why I couldn't run to Home Depot and pick up 30 bags of mulch, then scatter it for him.
What happens is that our parents still view us as "kids" even though we have an AARP membership card. And don't be surprise if your parents won't take your advice, again you are just a "kid" and what to you know !!!
I think your parents "are" realizing that they can't do what they used to. Thats why they only ask for help selectively. And what do you mean by "entitled"? That they think you should jump when they call. Or no thank you for what you do do. Draw a line now with what you are willing or can't do. The tables are starting to change. They may become the children and you the parent. Boundries need to be set. You have a job and limited time. If they need help with cleaning and they can afford it they can hire someone to clean their house. As a nurse you have already dealt with doing bathing and toileting so maybe u don't mind doing that. I hired someone to bathe my Mom. My Mom never acted like she was entitled, just out of 4 children it was me she depended on. If you have have siblings near by, have ur parents call them occasionally. If not near, tell them they need to visit to see the changes in your parents. If parents own their own home, start putting a bug in their ear about selling and moving to an independent living. Some places start there, work into an Assisted Living and then longterm all in the same complex. Don't be a slave to them. You r entitled to a life. Your responsibility to them is to make sure they are safe, clean, warm and fed. If you give up everything for them, u will resent them.