I have been living with my 86 year old friend Susan for a year. My husband died here in her home in December. Just about the time I was wanting to start seeking counseling and getting out into the world after 18 months taking care of my husband and Susan, the virus hit. Now we are locked down together and lately I am anxious and depressed a lot. Susan seems to be having memory issues more and more and God love her but she talks non stop from the time she wakes up in the morning. I'm dying for interaction with others who understand what it is like to take care of the elderly. She frequently gets confused when trying to use her phone and computer and lately she's driving me crazy. Even before the virus I didn't get days off and now it just not possible. I'd need a break.
Just a suggestion. If I was caring for someone, then I would want POA. Without it you have no say in her care.
And what are you going to do if her family wants to eventually place her in a facility? They need to sell her home?
You should not be responsible for her 24/7. You need time to yourself to do what you want and need to do. The children should be aware of the decline. Can she be left alone? Even if I was living with a friend splitting expenses, I would want to be able to have breakfast alone with another friend. Spend time with family, etc. I would want my friend to continue doing what she did before without feeling I needed to be included.
Yes, now things are opening up maybe you can get out and away forva little while.
I would check with her PCP and ask if you can have a test kit and a hat. The hats fit on the toilet seat. She pees in the "hat" and then u pour it into the jar provided. Really nice.
Where is Susan's family. Maybe time for a serious talk. If no family, time to get the state involved if you don't want to care for her the rest of your life. Things are starting to open up. Call your area Office of Aging and/or APS. Tell them you can no longer continue to care for Susan as things are. She needs to be evaluated and maybe will need longterm care. The State can step in as her guardian. Don't allow them to talk you into it. Big responsibility and very hard to revolk since its Court appointed.