Mom's home caregiver has been providing her 24/7 care for two months. Over these past weeks, they have developed a nice relationship. Mom and her children are so happy about this! Lisa the caregiver bought her a couple of pajama sets. Then she bought Mom groceries to feed her. Mom doesn't eat much - she's 99 and is not active. My brother and I take turns visiting and bringing dinner, so there is really way too much food.
We appreciate Lisa's generosity very much, and Mom has given her a check to cover these "gifts". It's been a bit much lately with her buying Mom more gifts and even more groceries that she even shares with us "kids". Mom wants to give her another check, for $500. We really appreciate Lisa, but are starting to feel uncomfortable about the situation.
My sister-in-law and I both feel the same and plan to talk with Lisa. The contract we signed doesn't mention caregivers giving or accepting gifts.
My question is: Has anyone ever been in this situation and/or have any suggestions?
It is NEVER a good thing to let the lines between hired caregiver and "family shopper", "shopper-shopper", "family friend" be blurred.
Simply sit Lisa down as you have planned; you are headed in exactly the right direction.
You need to make as clear to Mom also, as you can, that this leads to very muddy waters and that she needs not to be writing these checks, and never to give a credit card or information thereon to caregivers.
This isn't a question of "is it legal" because yes, it is legal to ask anyone you want to to shop for you, and to reimburse them. It is, however, bad practice with hired caregivers and can lead to problems from misunderstandings to worse.
In an emergency, if Lisa has to get something for your mother immediately like milk or Depends, she is to give you the receipt and you will reimburse her. But nicely but firmly: no more recreational shopping.
suggest to caregiver , that your moms money situation has changed, and you don’t want the caregiver to be on the hook for “gifts”
It happens quite often that a client will have wardrobes and chests overflowing with clothes, but only two pairs of knickers that actually fit.
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