Me and my sister are caring for our mother. She has been between my home, my sisters home as well as her my aunts home (her sister). She had a stroke about 4 years ago but I'm not sure if that has anything to do with her current state of mind or condition. She seems to be in her right state of mind when its time for her to do something that she wants to do, but on a normal day she acts like she is confused and out of it. Dementia/Alzheimers does run in the family as her mother (my grandmother has it). but my mom is a different story. I think she is more depressed than demented. She urinates and poops on herself, the bed, the floor and then hides the wet/soiled clothes or tries to cover it up. She does not care about personal hygiene, she does not bathe, comb her hair and takes no pride whatsoever in her appearance. The only thing she cares about is breakfast, lunch and dinner and spends excessive amounts of money on takeout (sometimes $400 to $600 a week), She does want to cook for herself she expects me and my sister and her grandkids to wait on her hand and foot. She is always the victim in every situation. She is denial that she has issues. She also hoards. The stroke did cause vision issues in one of her eyes but we all feel that she sees what she wants to see. I feel the vision is selective, if i ask to her get up and cook or clean behind herself she says "you know Im blind and I cant see" but then proceeds to order doordash and do other things like go to the beach with her so called boyfriend. Before moving in with us she had her on own house that was infested with roaches and bedbugs and food that had been sitting in the microwave for months. By the time we moved her out of her home, she had no lights or water as she spent all of her money on takeout. Everything in the home had to be thrown out and or destroyed, she was in denial about that saying "what roaches and bed bugs" and when i say it was infested it was infested. She claims she had no recollection and acts as if she is beneath living with me because I have a cat. Things are getting worse by the day. As I mentioned she was living with her sister but my aunt finally snapped and put her out because she got tired of taking care of her and got tired of my mom creating roaches in her home with her hygiene and cleanliness issues. My aunt also stated that she was tired of my mom not wanting to cook, clean nor take care of herself. Things are getting worse as she again takes no accountability for anything, we try to talk with her and she gets hostile and accuses us all of picking on her and lying on her. She takes no responsibility at all. I told her that everyone around her all feels the same way but she still accuses us of picking on her. And I would like to mention that she was tested for dementia and she scored at mild. I think its all being done on purpose but need for insight.
When was she last at the doctor? Could be depression, could be stroke, could be dementia. The hoarding leads me to believe she has some mental health issues.
I could not tolerate the peeing and pooping everywhere and then trying to hide it on top of it! Sounds like she needs serious help! Much more than you can give her. Hire help for her ASAP and get evaluated and her issues treated.