My Mom lives out of state from me and her sister & her husband have been caregivers for past couple of years while her health has been declining. I have offered for her to come live with me several times (as her only child), but she hates cold weather and refuses. Now she has damaged her younger sister's health to the point that I will have to bring her to live with me whether she likes it or not. She is 'very high maintenance' (mentally, emotionally and physically) and it will be an issue to even transport her from Florida to my state over 500 miles away because of her health (will probably have to use an ambulance to transport). I need to know if there is a list of things I need to get done before I arrange for the move, legal stuff that needs completed and how to handle it all. Is there such a list?
I. Legal Matters -
1. Consult Eldercare/ Geriatric Lawyer - determine what is needed and get all legal documentation in order
2. POA (Power of Attorney) in my name - power of attorney both medical and financial
3. DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) in residing state
4. Living Will & Last Will (end of life documents)
5. Understand her complete medical and financial picture
6. Change all legal documentation & records to address in residing state
7. Contact Department of Aging in my area
8. File change of address with USPS
II. Financial Matters
1. Checking Account in "her and my" name in residing state to handle all her finances (paper trail of "her" finances)
2. Social Security / Retirement money moved to residing state checking account
2. Financial situation (income vs output)
3. Hiring in-home help financial capability
4. Close out all financial establishments in previous state and transfer everything to residing state
5. House renovations (handicap access, ramps. Grab bars, etc).
III. Medications
1. Arrange for 90 day supply of all medications giving us a chance to obtain doctor in residing state to continue medications
2. Get a list of all her medications herbs, etc as well as times & quantity she takes
IV. Physicians & Medical Records
1. Get all her medical records (from all her doctors in previous state) put on USB Drive / Disk to be given to residing state doctors
2. Find doctors for her geriatric medical needs in residing state
3. Arrange with Medicare / Plan B supplement to transfer to residing state address & doctors
V. Room Accommodations
1. Acquire hospital bed
2. Go to previous state and pack up all her stuff, bring to residing state and set her up comfortably
3. Find 'small' chest of drawers for beside for her and to set up a TV on it for her to watch
4. Get a 'large' (9' X 12') rug for the room as well as possible runners from the room to bathroom for the hardwood floors
VI. Home Health & Daily Routines
1. Arrange for home health care / CNA 2 - 3 times a week for 4-6 hrs
2. Check into night time CNA to care for Mom
3. Arrange for someone to come in to bathe because of tubs since she can't climb into them and there is not a shower stall
3. Set up a routine / ritual for Mom DAILY - set boundaries!!! (Tough Love)
4. Once a week set up her medication box to be part of the routine.
5. Take breaks daily (meditation) and take naps when she does
6. Create menu with regiment eating habits and acceptable food due to her stomach issues
VII. Other
1. Get small handicap ramp built from dining room to kitchen for Mom
2. Have handicap ramp built at back door
2. Arrange to go to previous state and pack up all her stuff - move it to residing state and get her set up BEFORE we move her
3. Arrange for transport to get her to residing state (RV / Ambulance / Whatever is necessary and available)