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Don’t put any demands or guilt on yourself.

There are no rules for grieving- allow yourself permission to proceed as it feels right. Take one day at a time and have no expectations.

Anyone who tells you that you are grieving improperly is the only one making the mistake.
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I'm in year 4 of caring for my Alz. mother. Believe me, I'm sick of caregiving. For me, the mother whom I love is long gone, replaced by a horribly burdensome shadow of hers. If she were to die tomorrow, I think I would feel relieved rather than sad. Now and then, I felt the grief for the loss of the sane mom I once had. If I cried, it would be for that mom, not the crazy one I have now.

guiltridden64 - please shed the guilt. Time to focus on YOUR life and live it to the fullest.
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Shell38314 Jun 2020
Thank you Polarbear for posting that. I think when my mother passes I will feel relieved and if I cry, it will be because I got my freedom back!🐾🐾
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Grief is about loss. It appears you suffered and grieved the loss a long time ago. If you find yourself experiencing sadness over your loss, please consider joining a Griefshare group. Otherwise, be comforted with your good memories as you move into the next phase of your life.
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Listen to llama. There is no time limit. it comes and it goes... and when you least expect it, it overwhelms you when you think you are done grieving. Talk to her...She is listening... If you have questions; are at a loss, talk to her...
Sounds crazy, I know, but sometimes, I feel a sense of peace....Thank her, and tell her you still love her... It's okay.
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MAYDAY: Thank you for the nod.
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There is no wrong way to grieve and it always ebbs and flows. You provided comfort and care and God bless you for all you did for your Mom. Breathe and take time for yourself to put your life back together. There will be good days and sad days, but they will be your days. Peace.
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Thank you all for your insightful responses and kind wishes. My mother was a hardworking good Mom but the last few years changed her greatly, and the stress changed me. My only regret is that I did not seek help for the stress while I was dealing with it, but seeing a therapist seemed to be adding one more thing to an already out of control schedule. I still feel great peace for her, and while I have moments/small waves of grief, I know she is at peace and with my Dad, the great love of her life, in their heavenly home. God bless you all for taking time to respond! All answers were helpful!
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