Sister is 73. She can not stay alone at home anymore. Her husband died 2 months ago, he was taking care of her. Not sure of her diagnosis long term. Currently her daughter and husband moved into her house to take care of her. Daughter took family leave for 2 months that just ended. Daughter is thinking she has to quit work to take care of her during the day. Any help available for her?
Please know that SS is 100% at 67. SS goes back 35 years in earnings so to the age 32. If in those 35 years u don't work for some reason, lets say 10yrs, your SS earnings are only based on 25 yrs. Its really important now that you have enough in earnings and invested so ur retirement is comfortable. Lets say the daughter is 50 and quits a well paying job to care for Mom. 5 to 10 yrs later she wants to get back into the workforce. Its going to be hard for a 55 to
60 yr old to enter back into the workforce. Especially if not kept up to changes in technology and their career. You sister seems to have the means to get placed in a nice facility. Her children should be able to be her children, not her caregivers.
".. afraid to leave her alone for more 20-30 minutes".
If someone needs 24hr supervision, this will add much stress to the household.
Withdrawing a salary will also add stress & possible resentment in the household too.
Adding in NON-family help may lighten some of the care-load eg sitters/companions/aides - but may add to the financial load.
Dementia is an umbrella term, with Alzheimer’s Disease being the most common. All types seem to progress, but can vary in symptoms. So having an accurate diagnosis may help with planning.
My guess is this is past 'early stage'. Very common for spouses to cope & cover over. Often the adult children only glimpse a little memory loss on a visit. But if the spouse dies (as has happened here) it can cause catastrophic grief & stress response. Almost like a delerium.
I am very sorry this is happening to your sister. May a sensible sustainable plan be found that works for all of you the best it can.
If sister can not stay home alone anymore, I really believe her best option is a group home or Nursing Home. Can Daughter really afford to give up her future earnings to stay at home and care for her? What is going to happen to her 30 years down the road, what kind of financial position will she be in if she gives up working now?
You say sister is mentally disabled. I assume you mean mental illness, and NOT dementia?
I ask because you said you are not sure of the diagnosis, and this makes a critical difference.
Given her condition I also assume that there is medical care currently being rendered to this sister? This must mean there is care from somewhere, an MD, a diagnosis? If so there may already be social services involvement. I would start by contacting that person.
There would need to be a full mental neuro-psyc evaluation. Now that her caregiver has died, who is her POA? There would have to be solid reasons this person could not be alone, as mental health issues are not usually a qualifier for in home care unless the person is unable to care for self, or is a danger to self or others.
I can only recommend that the MD involved in treatment of this sister be contacted for recommendations. I am surprised this wasn't done in the two months the daughter was present doing care?
We usually find that quitting a job to care for someone in home is a mistake. The compensation, even when available is very small for the amount of investment in care needs. The person often moves and gives up a job and then, when in home care is no longer possible, that caregiver ends up homeless, without a job and without a job history.
You don't tell us if this person wishing to give care has any POA for the person needing the care. Mental disabilities are notoriously difficult for a lay person to manage. I would recommend against this.