We are leaving for a week (or hope to) and need somewhere for my mom to go. Last time we tried this for 4 days, our adult sons were home, but she acted like she was abandoned and alone. She blew up friends and family via text and email stating we had abandoned her and how awful it was being held hostage in our home.
I am also hoping that finding her a place for a week will show her how wonderful AL living can be!
Make sure they are licensed and read reviews.
Do not presume they are wonderful.
I would go on the vacation and totally enjoy yourself. My mother has needed care for over two decades and had I never been willing to find alternatives (regardless of what she thought), I never would have married, had kids, and traveled. You deserve to enjoy your life and there are safe alternatives for her.
The only thing I was concerned about, as a large man with memory loss, when I called and daily for 2 weeks he was out of breath so bad. He said he was out shooting rifles with the guards (not-- didn't know how to use a gun except military 50 years earlier!); was playing baseball, etc. I just had my son visit him to check on him. To be sure he was NOT going off campus, particularly since the campus did not have gates. My husband did well, and family checked on him daily or at least several times a week. I was on cross country visit to my siblings on both sides for the last time, and first time I left him alone. He did well, didn't realize I was gone, except he was glad to hear from me every day by telephone. We don't do computers. Have a long discussion with the facility to check it out, write down concerns so you don't miss any, you will have to give exact medications, and some extra in case they fall and get scattered)., etc. Attendants were all nice. I hadn't seen family in years, and wanted one last visit before my hubby got too ill to leave. I checked and interviewed several facilities before choosing one. Hope this helps.
You can try the fib that she is going to a resort while you are on vacation and getting a vacation also.
Or you might be able to hire a short term caregiver. She will probably be nasty to them too.
There seems to be no way to do this well for some people. Dementia does awful things to elders.
Consider seeing if an AL will do a 1 week respite short stay. That may be too short for some places, but they might (especially if they have a lot of vacancy and want to attract possible new residents).
It sounds like your Mom lives at home? the other option that should be do-able for a week is agency carers for at home care. How would she do with strangers coming to the house for a certain number of hours a week?
If your sons are nearby, see if they will take turns covering the week you are gone so you get accurate reports of her well being. That would be the safest coverage for her care.
We looked for a respite center that was like a vacation for her and pitched it to her as a 3 week long spa.
She loved it…people to talk to, choice of meal at the time of the meal, white tablecloth with real silverware, rode the elevator, joined in activities, etc. we also used that stay to assess whether we could place her there permanently.
I didn’t like the management…but my Mom enjoyed herself!
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