My sister guardian of Mom who has Alzheimer's lives in same town. I live far away. Mom in asst living.just moved to new facility did not tell me. Sister older always hateful to me. Uses Moms money for her daughter who stole from her for years. Sister did not speak to parents 5 yrs once. now fabricates stuff about my husband . Finally Got phone number from sister -can not get to talk with Mom goes straight to v mail. Talked to facility - how I got to talk with sister. What rights do I have to know Mom's condition and talk with her.
Is your mother's Healthcare POA activated? Meaning, have two MD's signed stating that she is incompetent?
If not, your mother is certainly able to make her own decisions as far as who she calls and who her medical information can be released to. If the POA is not activated, you do have a right to talk with your mom as long as she agrees to want to speak with you. I think your best bet is to work through the facility.
1. Buy a bright, cheerful card for your mother. In it send her a loving message, write your phone number clearly, and ask her to call you.
2. Write a covering letter addressed to the staff at the facility. If possible, address it directly to her key worker, the named individual who has primary responsibility for her care. Ask that person to assist your mother with reading her card, and with making the phone call if your mother wishes to do that.
If that gets no response, then the probability is that your mother is unable to call you.
In terms of rights, you are kind of missing the point. It isn't a matter of your having rights, it's a matter of your mother having the right to see and speak to you if she wishes to and if she can. You don't say how long it is since you last visited or spoke to her - is it possible that she is no longer capable of contacting you, or of answering her phone?
I'm sorry for your difficult relationship with your sister, and I sympathise. However, your sister has nothing to gain by depriving your mother of a relationship with you so why would she do that? If she were really trying to prevent any inquisition into financial management, she could have been a good deal more obstructive than she has been.
The staff at the facility will need either your mother's permission or, if she has POA, your sister's permission to discuss your mother with you. It may seem to be taking things to extremes, but don't blame them: rules is rules.
Again, I sympathise with what it's like to have a very difficult, spiky relationship with an older sister. But if you really want to cut to the chase, here, you could call your sister and open your conversation with "Hi, I'm calling to ask how mother is." Having a definite first line in mind can help to calm the thumping heartbeat and sweaty anxiety while you're standing there waiting for her to answer her phone. Good luck, stick like glue to the subject of your mother in the here and now only, and let us know how you get on.
How did sister get to be guardian? There must have been a court hearing. Were you in favor of this? Did you explain your point of view? Do you have evidence that Sis is spending Mom's money for something other than Mom's care? That is a serious violation of her guardian role.
If your sister is truly a court-appointed guardian, she has control over who can visit with or talk to your mother.