We live alone. My daughter does a great deal for me/us - but's it's only been in the last 4 months that she's become more involved - attending critical doctors appointments with me. Picking up an occasional prescription or prepping a "pop in the oven meal" - she has watched or assisted a couple of times with "Personal" duties for her mother, but they are rare - it worries her that I don't consider assisted living or even a nursing home for my wife - also suggesting in home health for times I need then ( when needs arise at 3 A.M. , or 6 A.M. or any random hour - how do I choose ? I never know when those most needed hours are! A Nurse is not possible because of $$ . A CNA is a glorified sitter (no offense to those who give 100% to their work) I haven't found a CNA that seems to care to be a self starter! Prefer to sit, listen, do what's told and text! Even if my daughter spent 1 whole hour out of every day - how can I convince her that she can't really understand what I'm up against - and that the solutions she offers I've tried and they haven't worked!
Medicaid may be the way you need to go. Do you have any assets besides a home and a car? These are exempt when applying for Medicaid. I will give you my GFs parents as an example. Both in their 80s. He suffered from Dementia and he needed more care than she could give so she placed him in a NH. Their monthly income consisted of SS and pensions. They had 60k in assets. Medicaid allows for assets to be split. So, the 30k he received went to his care and when gone Medicaid was applied. My GFs mother remained in the home and had the car. She received enough or maybe all of their monthly income to help her live. The Community Spouse cannot be made impoverished.
I would make an appt Social Services and see what your options are. You may need a elder lawyer to help with the splitting of assets.