My dad has been on hospice care for 21 months, surpassing all expectations. He is now very close to death. One thing that is very clear - no matter his suffering, he wants to live. Once he said to my mom and I “how am I going to live without you?” And lately he has been asking me “where are you going!?” Repeatedly. How should I respond and is this normal! What might it mean?
My Mom shut her eyes two weeks before her passing. Just about the same time she fought not to be gotten out of bed. My disabled nephew, who had lived with her, and I went to see her. She was actively dying. I told him to tell her that he would be OK and to say goodbye. We left at 1:30 she was pronounced at 1:50. Up till then, everyone had stopped in to say goodbye, my nephew was the only one who hadn't. A nurse told me that she thinks they hang on for that last person. When this happens she asks the family if there is someone that the patient needs to know will be alright or needs to say goodbye but is too far way. She tells the family to get the person on the phone and put it up to the patients ear. When this is done, she claims they pass not long after.
I would just reassure him that he is safe and cared for. You are safe, mom is safe and cared for.
I would not correct him, that might add to frustration, anxiety.
By the way..."normal" is an over used word and when it comes to people "normal" is impossible to define.
My parents have been married 41 years. It’s almost like he thinks that she and I, their 38 year old daughter, are leaving him. Other people’s theories about him mixing up his words are probably right.