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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Hygiene issues go with the territory when Alzheimer's/dementia is at play. Your wife needs help now, either from you, an aide you hire to come into your home, or from the staff at a Memory Care Assisted Living facility. She needs help toileting as well, as Grandma mentioned, since many elders w dementia are not capable of properly cleaning themselves after a BM.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet to learn about dementia. Lots of Do's and Don't tips for dealing with dementia sufferers are suggested in the booklet.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.
The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
There may be other hygiene problems you have not noticed yet. Is she properly and thoroughly cleaning herself after toileting? Is she brushing her teeth? and adding to those..is she properly taking her medications (If any and if she still does that on her own) You should start monitoring her in the bathroom and while taking or sorting medications. If she is resistant to your help in the bathroom the first few time make an excuse, "I need tome tissue" or "I need some dental floss" or "I have to wash my hands" You might have to have someone come in to do showers and hair if she is real resistant. But try getting a shower chair or bench. One with a back for more support. She may be afraid of slipping or falling. She might actually need help remembering what to do first, then the next steps. If you think about it showering is something we do automatically but there are a LOT of steps. The head and torso are "vulnerable" areas and many do not like being hit with water in that area. A hand help shower wand might help, the water stream can be controlled and many come with bars that allow the head to be placed much lower so the water is not hitting you in the face.
Have you tried just taking her in the shower and washing her up yourself? And of course make sure there is a slip proof mat down in the shower, along with grab bars and a shower chair, as all those things will help your wife feel more safe and secure while getting the shower. I had to help my late husband in and out of the shower and wash him down myself to make sure he was getting good and clean. And when he became bedridden I used the extra large body wipes to clean his body and the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps to wash his hair. Both of those items can be found on Amazon or Walmart.com. You can also hire an aide to come bathe her a couple times a week if your budget allows, as they do a great job and won't take no for an answer. It's tough, I know, and sadly it will get only tougher. But you're doing a great job. And if and when the times comes, don't be afraid to place her in a memory care facility where she will receive the 24/7 care she requires and you can get back to just being her husband and advocate. I wish you well on this difficult journey you're on with your dear wife.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet to learn about dementia. Lots of Do's and Don't tips for dealing with dementia sufferers are suggested in the booklet.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.
The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Best of luck.
Is she properly and thoroughly cleaning herself after toileting?
Is she brushing her teeth?
and adding to those..is she properly taking her medications (If any and if she still does that on her own)
You should start monitoring her in the bathroom and while taking or sorting medications.
If she is resistant to your help in the bathroom the first few time make an excuse, "I need tome tissue" or "I need some dental floss" or "I have to wash my hands"
You might have to have someone come in to do showers and hair if she is real resistant.
But try getting a shower chair or bench. One with a back for more support. She may be afraid of slipping or falling.
She might actually need help remembering what to do first, then the next steps. If you think about it showering is something we do automatically but there are a LOT of steps.
The head and torso are "vulnerable" areas and many do not like being hit with water in that area. A hand help shower wand might help, the water stream can be controlled and many come with bars that allow the head to be placed much lower so the water is not hitting you in the face.
I had to help my late husband in and out of the shower and wash him down myself to make sure he was getting good and clean.
And when he became bedridden I used the extra large body wipes to clean his body and the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps to wash his hair. Both of those items can be found on Amazon or Walmart.com.
You can also hire an aide to come bathe her a couple times a week if your budget allows, as they do a great job and won't take no for an answer.
It's tough, I know, and sadly it will get only tougher. But you're doing a great job.
And if and when the times comes, don't be afraid to place her in a memory care facility where she will receive the 24/7 care she requires and you can get back to just being her husband and advocate.
I wish you well on this difficult journey you're on with your dear wife.