Follow
Share

My mother (87) lives with me. Now that winter has arrived, we are having thermostat wars. I want her to be comfortable and not suffer hypothermia. I prefer to keep the heat around 65- 68, but now that she is here have been boosting it to 70-72 and she still complains of being cold. I am too hot! I have her do layers (Cuddle Duds included) for her top half and have warm sweat pants and warm socks for the bottom half. She is concerned about cuddle dud bottoms as she has incontinence and doesn't want to add layers there. She sits ubnder a blanket when watching tv. I guess I could boost the heat even higher & wear summer clothes as long as I am going to stay inside, but then I'd have to change every time I went out. And I can't imagine too high a heat can be healthy, either. Thinking about one of the portable room space heaters, but so many warnings about safety. Anyone have experience with those? Any other ideas? Thanks.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
My parents have it blazing 85-90 degrees in the winter, but cant deal with the hot in the summer... Is this physiological?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Mmm, woodburners, Veronica! I'm trying hard not to miss my old house, but oh goodness I do miss the woodburner. Only upside to not having one now is that I don't nod off and spend the entire weekend snuggled up in front of it!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

gmafaye, on one post you wrote "Keeping a home too cold is the same as elder abuse.  Their blood does not circulate as well as yours.  Walk around in your bathing suit if need be but keep them warm."

I can understand what you mean, but what good is the caregiver if he/she is passed out from a heat stroke?  An elder will crank up the heat to 90 if no one is looking.   Yes, as one ages they feel the cold more, and medicine can have an effect on the inner thermostat.

It's not like we have the temp set at 65, that's not comfortable for anyone during the day unless one is doing a lot of physical work around the house, which many caregivers are doing.   There should be an comfortable level for both.

One thing many of us have learned... we will NOT put our own children through any of this.... we will make plans for our old age.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Electric blankets, mattress pad heaters, and heating pads.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Agree with CM although once again we are presented with an old post.
I have developed sudden onset hypothyroidism due to a medication and no it can't be stopped. but one of the side effects is being cold all the time so I totally understand. Hubby is cold too, a sign of old age for us both. We installed a wood burning stove in our living room and having that area with radiant heat helps a lot. I was given a heated lap robe for Christmas but as yet have not used it. Also for some one with dementia they can pose a danger not that I have dementia I hasten to add - but never say never!!!!!!!!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Gmafaye, I think these are the sorts of things that every person has to find out for himself. Like teenagers who think their parents are tyrants and slave drivers, we think our elders are fusspots and cranks... Until we get there ourselves.

Your heads-up point is forcefully made. It's just that I think you probably have to see it for yourself before you'll believe it.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Seems to me that we have a bunch of whiners and complainers on this website. After your parent(s) are dead, will you regret the complaints you make and sacrifices that you make to keep them comfortable in their last years? My guess is yes because I have been there and done that. Read about hypothermia in the elderly, read about the depression of the elderly, read about the loneliness of the elderly and read about the loss of taste, smell, appetite, etc., and the loss of independence. Do you think they really want to live with you? NO. They would prefer to be able to take care of themselves in their own homes. Now grow up and deal with your issues like the adults and caregiver that you are supposed to be. Most likely they made concessions to take care of you when you were young but even if they were not perfect parents, that does not excuse you for basically mistreating them. Apologize to your parent for not being more understanding. Try to accommodate them for this ending of their lives. As I get older, rarely a day passes, that I don't whisper, "Mom, I am sorry, I did not understand" for some stupid comment that I made when she was alive. Again, I have been there and done that.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thanks, LC!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

The radiator type sits a little higher off the surface so I would think less likely to heat so much underneath. I would recommend a sizable lip on the pan - something like an oversized lasagna type. My safety conscious mind rests much easier and this setup has worked well for us on carpet.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thank you, LearningCurve. I have researched space heaters and my concerns have been stability and safety on carpeted floors, since the main room it would be used in has plush carpet. Do they get warm underneath (fire factor) or are they insulated for heat protection?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

There is a radiator type space heater on the market which I believe is the safest. I would suggest a steel pan underneath any space heater just in case it leaks or tips over. A pan also adds stability and a flatter surface for it to rest on - especially where carpet is involved.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

We keep both bathroom windows opened and in the bedrooms, plus the back door slider just wide enough for the heaviest cat to just squeeze in, great to have that cool air.

How I wish my parents would do the same thing... their home desperately needs the fresh air !!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree, GG. Sometimes we lose sight that the caregiver is important when we think about elderly or disabled people. Temperature stress is very bad for the health and for the disposition. It makes far more sense to keep the house temperature normal and to add space heaters, blankets, and clothing as needed.

I am all the time having to remind myself that I am as important as my mother. Our self esteems can get pretty low when caregiving. Pretty soon we can begin to feel that keeping our loved one comfortable is all the is important. This thinking can be reinforced by people around us. We really do have to keep the stress off ourselves to make our lives bearable. Whatever we have to do... I'm glad I can close off my vents and open my windows.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

NJCinderella -I fully agree with you that is terrible to be cold and not be able to get warm. I truly feel for my mother. It is also siffling to be too hot, and only so many clothes can be removed before being indecent! Lol.. Hence my ask for help. I've gotten a lot of good advice hete - thank you all!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Many times the elderly feel cold because they are on blood thinners. When I lived with my parents they had the heat cranked up but hey it was their house and their bill. Fortunately, they have individual thermostats in every room (what a great concept, why don't more build that way?) so I was able to retreat to my room and be in a comfortable temp. I'm back in my own place again. I keep my thermostat around 68 but I'm an upstairs apt and the people downstairs are elderly and must keep their heat full blast so i'm getting the "benefit" of their heat. At night I like it cooler so I turn it down to 66, crack the window a bit and keep plenty of blankets on the bed in case I want to get warmer.

My only advice is to remember to try and be in their shoes. Its not a good feeling to feel so cold inside that you can't get warm. I lived on a 1st floor with a cement slab and it made me feel so bone chilling cold I lived in those wraps, thermal pjs and constant cups of tea. I hated it! I felt I could never get warm enough to relax. That must be how they feel.

I get a taste of it all again when my daughter visits and she is always cold and being a lady of a "certain age" I am always running hot lol every generation has this battle.

try not to sweat it--literally and figuratively. And also look into getting into a monthly budget plan with your gas/electric companies. It helps with the bills because you know every month what you'll be paying.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Heated throw and a hat and gloves
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Nope, JessieBelle - I'm in Boyds, MD. I just got carried away with rescuing. They're all very loved though!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

:)

Three dogs. You must be from Australia. I heard the cold nights there were Three Dog Nights.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Like the others, I also feel your pain. My Mom was 95 and freezing in my 157 year old house (she joked that she was the original owner). When she came to live with me, I took great pains to keep her warm and, with the use of 3 small dogs layers atop her, I mostly made that goal. For me? I ran around in sleeveless summer wear and shorts. When I had to go out to the grocery, people looked at me like I was nuts in the 30F weather but I was happy to be cold!

Silk underwear is a great addition to her wardrobe. Silk is very insulating so it's quite warm and light weight at the same time.

I also wrapped her in warm shawls and bed jackets. You can google to find some really pretty ones so she won't feel institutionalized in these duds.

Finally, I used an electric 12V lap blanket when I took her to dr appts. I plugged it right into the cigarette lighter for 10 minutes prior to loading Mom in and off we went. She was toasty warm and I still had my window cracked.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Not all elders are cold. My Dad [93] is opposite from my Mom [97]. Mom will be all bundled up likes she's going the face the blizzard of the century, and Dad will be in his summer shorts, t-shirt and barefoot. He doesn't like the sauna effect that Mom insists she have in the house. The old saying "happy wife, happy life" :P
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Moms2love, I think most of us here do make sacrifices for our aging parents and like you we consider it a privilege. For the time I spend each year with Mom (93 with moderate dementia) I have to abandon my life to travel 3000 miles to her home and I'm totally willing to do that. (I have three other siblings, one of whom lives in Florida and takes her to his dysfunctional home when it is his turn. She is not happy there, so the rest of us offer respite in her own home.)

However the heat issue, as several others have pointed out, is not simply a matter of inconvenience or being "somewhat uncomfortable." It makes us physically ill. Not much help to Mom if I feel like I'm going to faint or throw up. What if I did pass out while trying to assist her? Not likely, but at 70 years of age I have to be realistic about that possibility. I don't have to be cool and comfortable, just not so overheated that I am sick from it.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

My dear mother is 89 year old and she too is very cold natured; freezing all the time. I just try to remember that I too will probably be that way when I get older (if God grants me that much time on this earth). In the meanwhile, we all should think about the fact that our parents have certainly make sacrifices for all of us. So what, if we are somewhat uncomfortable at times. There will come a time when we all can adjust our thermostats back to our liking, but until then, I'm going to love and enjoy my dear mother and try to keep her comfortable.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Layers are good, however I know what you mean when you say you are roasting. My dad has one of the infrared heaters, they put out a lot of heat and cost little to use. Use a sweater on top of her clothing that is layered. I have an electric throw that I purchased at walmart. It's smaller than a bed blanket and it warms nicely but does not get to hot. Those who are elderly or medically compromised feel the cold more so they need more heat.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I got dad a radiator type oil filled heater for near his chair, a small delongi. I believe they are the safest. He also has one in the bed room. When he had a taller one he would attempt to hang on to it to stand up...did not work so well. None of that trouble with the little one, and no fan noise.

I use a sunbeam heated pad on the back of his chair, or you could get a heated chair. I just saw that sunbeam or sure fit has a heated slip cover.

For me: I have been spared by a tall Dyson fan. Very little noise, feels like the air is cooled even though it isn't. I set it up pointed at my chair. It can also oscillate, but the stationary position is perfect, Dad does not feel it and I do.

Not asked but also useful. Dad is quiet deaf. I almost went nuts with the volume all the way up. We got Sony wireless headphones for him. It was a saving grace.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Dress her in warm clothing. For example thermal underwear. Long sleeves. A knit cap. Heat excepts though the head, too. A portable heater is OK if she or an animal, can't get to it. Make sure her blanket or quilt on her legs don't touch it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sometimes there is no compromise.

I couldn't ask my parents to drop the heat by 8 degrees to be in the middle of the thermostat, she would sit there and shiver, I couldn't do that to her. It's not her fault that she is so cold... her hands are like ice. We just don't visit for more than 15 minutes :( And when my parents come to visit me, I do push the heat up to 72 so that Mom would be more comfortable, but as soon as my parents leave, it's back down to 68.

My house is quite sunny so I do get a lot of solar heat and all the drapes are opened..... my parents house get very little sun inside which I think makes a big difference.... if they would only open up the shades/blinds but Mom doesn't want to fade the furniture.... [sigh].
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

OMG, I am so sorry for all you folks with chilly moms/dads..I and 79 and am always sweating and taking off sweaters when I visit others. Even the senior center is too hot for me! When my mother was alive ( she lived to 75) she walked every day just for the sake of walking to keep her blood moving ( she said.) Whatever, it helped. I walk myself ( I do have 2 dogs to care for which is great) and when I go to read to the little ol' ladies at our nursing home I know enough now to just have a light shirt on. They keep it at 85 ! My home is 66 in winter. So I guess it is good that my kids don't live with me. I only hope I won't ever have to go to a care home which would feel like a greenhouse for orchids.
I guess my point is we can never please everyone in our situations....I like your suggestions for the chilly folks... better hydration, get up and stroll, an old fashioned red rubber hot water bag, more cups of hot tea, fuzzy slipper sox, fleece and flannel clothes....and talking about how to compromise with Mom/Dad....
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

dejavuagain, I agree about the hothouse effect. My sig other and I can't spend more than 10-15 minutes at my parents house... the heat makes it hard for us to breathe, makes me feel like I am coming down with a high fever, makes him feel nauseous.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Some nice hot herbal tea, spiced cider, hot chocolate, or soup will help warm them up. Not a 24 hour solution, but a nice break and some comfort for a few minutes in the day.

I'm one of those who actually feels ill, nauseous, when overheated, so "sucking it up" and living with the hothouse effect isn't an option. When I'm with my mom I have to sleep with the heating vent and door closed (open just a crack so I can hear her if she needs me). During the day I do a lot of yard work, LOL.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

There actually is a back heated cushion accessory that plugs into cigarette lighter for car. Acts like a heating pad but can be attached to seat back and is made to be on the carseat so is safe and was lass than $50.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter