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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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You are NOT to disclose ANY medical condition your sibling may have WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION! And being bipolar does not make you a villain, nor an incompetent dunce! I got through nursing school, and a masters program, plus a paralegal program, so don't even think all of us with bipolar disorder should not be walking around without a guard. Perhaps you could serve your sibling well by talking to them, and then finding out more about the disease. With medication, most of us are high functioning and lead very productive lives. I am really insulted you have attached another stigma to anyone with a mental illness. Would you do the same to those who have diabetes, high blood pressure, a broken arm, etc.? Why don't you try going somewhere with your sibling, and your mother if she is able to leave the nursing home? Of course as power of attorney you have the ability to prevent such outings. Then you would be denying your sibling of time alone with YOUR mother since both of you were carried in her womb (I am assuming). What gives you the right to judge? Yes, I am very angry with your assumption about people who share bipolar disorder. Patty Duke, Winston Churchill, Ted Turner, Debbie Reynolds' daughter Carrie Fisher, and a host of other celebrities share our disorder (to name a few). Misguided to say the least...
What you should do is feel entirely justified in sharing with the staff at the NH the fact that your sibling is living with Bipolar Disorder and cannot take responsibility for your mother's safety and welfare.
BUT! - I am assuming two things:
1. That your mother does not have capacity. And, by the way, one has power of attorney FOR another person, not ON her. 2. That the bipolar disorder is currently causing your sibling problems.
Many people do of course lead perfectly satisfactory lives in spite of this mental health condition; and if your sibling is one of them, then the bipolar is not sufficient reason in itself for barring outings with your mother.
BiPolar in and of itself is not necessarily a reason to withhold visitations. Many people live with this disorder, including myself, who are the primary caretakers parents. I can say for myself that I work with my brothers to ensure there are not outstanding issues. I suggest you learn more about Bilpolar and work with your sibling until such time as they are determined to be unfit, working with professionals, not simply a personal bias.
BTW, I think your desire to allow your sister to visit your mom but to prevent her from taking mom out without your knowledge and approval is right on-target. You don't want to punish your sister or your mother. You just want to keep Mom safe.
CM is perfectly correct that many persons with Bipolar Disorder lead perfectly ordinary lives. That disorder would not be enough reason to bar someone from normal activity with a parent.
If your sibling is not reliable in this regard, then let the nh know that.
Can you come up with alternates that might satisfy both mother and sibling? Maybe you go with them on some outings? Suggest that sibling attend some in-house activities with Mom?
POA does not afford you the right to determine whether a sibling could take your mother for an outing. You would have to have guardianship for that. That is a legal process that differs from state to state.
Does your mom have behavior issues or increased disorientation upon returning from outings with your sister? Does mom enjoy the outings with sister? Has the facility told you there are problems? As POA you could stop outings with sis. But, unless the facility has told you of resulting issues, you should leave it alone. If the facility notices increased behavior issues with mom, ask them to take the lead on stopping the outings. Takes you out of the middle of it and will eliminate this problem with sis. You are POA but that does not give you right to stop outings if mom enjoys them. If, on the other hand sis is causing danger to mom you mey be able to do something. I would leave it to the facility to place this sort of restriction on your mom.
mickeymat's answer is correct. Decisions about association with others, attendance at church, and similar are part of either a guardianship or a Power of Attorney for Health Care matters. In NC, and I understand in most states, a HCPOA is only effective when the person giving the power is incapacitated, usually based on a doctor's determination. It should be about safety. Be careful that it does become a struggle for control. Your mother will lose there.
Since when does one owe one's sibling a legal duty of confidentiality? You can say what you like about him or her to anyone you like as long as it's true.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
BUT! - I am assuming two things:
1. That your mother does not have capacity. And, by the way, one has power of attorney FOR another person, not ON her.
2. That the bipolar disorder is currently causing your sibling problems.
Many people do of course lead perfectly satisfactory lives in spite of this mental health condition; and if your sibling is one of them, then the bipolar is not sufficient reason in itself for barring outings with your mother.
If your sibling is not reliable in this regard, then let the nh know that.
Can you come up with alternates that might satisfy both mother and sibling? Maybe you go with them on some outings? Suggest that sibling attend some in-house activities with Mom?
Does mom enjoy the outings with sister?
Has the facility told you there are problems?
As POA you could stop outings with sis. But, unless the facility has told you of resulting issues, you should leave it alone. If the facility notices increased behavior issues with mom, ask them to take the lead on stopping the outings. Takes you out of the middle of it and will eliminate this problem with sis. You are POA but that does not give you right to stop outings if mom enjoys them. If, on the other hand sis is causing danger to mom you mey be able to do something. I would leave it to the facility to place this sort of restriction on your mom.
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