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I have been told being health care proxy is actually simple and easy. Advice when:



1) People aggressively ask you to sign papers you are not responsible for such as financial forms, etc.as someone else called Signature Badgering (great term).



A case manager at the hospital told me the HCPs are responsible for signing admission papers for short term orthopedic rebab. I did based on the case manager's advice. Later I would discover via an elder care attorney consultation I was not responsible for signing all just certain parts.



2) Inappropriate tasks like intervene when your sisters are fighting, talk to the care assistant who is upset, etc.



I want to help when I can but some tasks asked are inappropriate and/or ones I can't put on my plate right now. I do my best to redirect them.



A lot of these come from the POA who practices authoritarian leadership and loves to assign tasks.



3) Organizing and setting up family meetings per request of the social worker. The social worker/case manager told me the insurance company demands these, Per a conversation of the insurance company they do not require them. Family meetings can be helpful for education but giving me less than 6 business hours to set one up and telling me it could only occur at one time the next day seemed inappropriate, The time they offered I have a work conflict which I had to change to accommodate the meeting,



FYI I complained to the facility about this social worker. They told me she is no longer with them.



A friend whose father was in an expensive long term care facility told me the social worker organized these meetings for the family.



I am not a big fan of case managers. I noticed some can be very good and helpful. Others not that good. Several times after reviewing medical records I have found false documentation which I complained to the patient advocate about.



Facility patient advocates can be really helpful I have discovered.



4) Getting the alternative HCP to be more engaged and admit he is also a health care proxy. He claims he is a not a health care proxy and will not agree to be back up when I will have less phone access when traveling or in critical medical appointments or surgery. I am in awe of those who have good, collaborative relationships with their alternative HCPS like strong back up when on vacation or weekly meetings,



Any other advice on keeping it simple?

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Your responsibility is to follow Moms wishes. If she needs surgery or procedure not covered in the prioxy then you can make that decision based on what you think Mom can do. You can talk to doctors and nurses. You sign nothing that does not have to do with making decisions having to do with her health. Ex: Doctor wants to put a stomach tube in. Moms proxy says no, so you don't sign for it.
You sign nothing admitting her. This, IMO, is covered by financial because "who is responsible for payment" is involved.

You say nothing in your profile saying Mom has been declared incompetent. If she can make her own decisions, your Medical POA is not in effect anyway. Read it, it probably says a Doctor needs to find Mom incompent to invoke the POA. Maybe the same for the Financial POA?
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