As you know, mother (75) is 10 months post C3-C7 spinal fusion, on Tymlos injections for osteoporosis, getting thoracic MBB injections and upcoming nerve ablation. A week ago, she moved her stove to get a fallen object behind it and hurt her hip, back and says the pain is too bad to walk. I saw her Tuesday, she was moving slow but no other complaints. She called yesterday and said she’s been having (new) urine leakage since this happened. I said we must get this looked at. Took her to urgent care, hoping it was a simple UTI. They dipped her urine, said NO UTI, and to take her to ER for a back CT. They were worried about causa equina/spinal cord. I was mad she waited till Friday afternoon to bring this up. She refused to contact her neurosurgeon. She had actually just been released from him as far as her neck goes. It healed well.
The local ER did a Lower back CT and says it and her bladder seem normal and yo go see a urologist. I’m not too jazzed about hauling her in my car. Brought her depends and put a pad in my seat.
I can’t find the Medicaid nursing home criteria list, but doesn’t incontinence count? The misery continues. I appreciate the kindly worded replies, but not all have been kind.
You might find it instructive.
Your mom, while mentally ill (that's the backstory, right?), is competent and isn't prone to give your very valid opinions any weight.
If you had your druthers, you'd get mom a better PCP and address her physical and psychiatric issues in a way that wasn't piecemeal. Mom won't allow that to happen.
The kindest, most effective thing you can do is step back and call 911 when she calls with an emergency.
I am 70 and in good health. I would never, EVER try to move a stove myself. She is creating chaos. Don't participate.
91 is considered a good oxygen level....anything over 90 is, actually. If mom can't breathe, believe me when I tell you she WILL ask for medical help. If she does have COPD, there are inhalers available to help. My BIL was 71 when he fell over in the Wal Mart parking lot and died. He was a smoker with COPD who refused to stop or address the matter at all. But he died on HIS terms, so we took some solace in that.
You can't care more about mom than she cares about herself, is the bottom line I think. Moving stoves in her condition is beyond ridiculous. I have very serious spinal issues but worse in the lumbar spine. The docs are always asking me if I'm incontinent, which I'm not. There is a link between lower back issues and incontinence so an MRI is in order if this issue does not resolve on its own. But Depends work well too.
I hate what you're going thru with mom, it's frustrating and thankless. Why not step back and let her carry on as she sees fit? Next time she has a crisis, call 911 for her. Maybe a few trips to the ER will document her inability to live alone and her need for managed care.
Look up neurogenic bladder.
And, sure, see the specialist, as this is common in the elderly overall, but I think it is likely connected to the spine.
If so, not a whole awful lot to be done about it.
I am surprised that overall with all the diagnoses here that Mom is still not qualifying and I think I would hire on a nurse manager to get access.
You might want to research NPAF.org for independent board certified patinet advocates for help with medical access.
Does she do her own laundry? If not, you can remove all of her cloth undies and replace them with only disposable briefs.
I'm sorry you are going through all of this but you have the option to step away and allow her county social services to deal with her. Sometimes the best solution is the least bad option.