Okay, I'm breaking out here a bit because what I've found is that the old adage "misery loves company" is true, because anytime I get a chance to gripe about things I get worked up, so....
I want to start this thread looking for the funny stories in the midst of all this stress and chaos. As caretakers when we step out of a situation, can you imagine how sill we look bribing an 80 yr old person with a piece of candy to "come on, I'll take you out" to getting ready for a wrestling match just to bathe? I mean my parents would fight to the death over that right not to shower, and we've all seen that message board.
So let me start with a couple.... my grandfather and grandmother from my mom's side, both had health issues, but grandma had beginning dementia and was seeing imaginary things. One of the funniest stories I remember is that my grandma thought my grandpa was tunneling floosies (these tramps) through a wall in the basement and just having all these sex parties etc.
My mom was frazzled in what to do. She started to tell my grandma that we had friends from the church who were FBI and, "Ma, its okay, we have cameras in the tv to watch what goes on. The FBI are arresting these women as soon as they come through the tunnel." My grandmother being relentless kept saying, "I can't believe your father... WHAT would he want with all those women..." (as a young kid, seeing my mother now.... oh I know what he was thinking.... roll a few fatties, pour a few drinks and unwind under the nose of his favorite control freak and the more the merrier!
Another story...Grandma at one point saw a horse in her house and started yelling for her husband to get it out. My mother was so stressed by this time, and I'm a teenager and I said, "Grandma, I'll take it out for a ride. I love horses, and it probably just came in for some lunch. Do you want me to bring her back for a nap?" She'd say no and I'd take this "horse" outside. My mom thought I was crazy but she was stressed to the hilt. Grandma couldn't help it. She kept screaming what a mess it left in her house and look at the hoof prints in her house. I just told grandma that it was okay, I think its something I can get out. I don't know if she bought that one or not.
Now turning that humor on to my parents.... I'll think of a story soon I'm sure... I just need to distance myself.... and I'm thinking West Coast this time (permanent vacation? :)
Hope to hear your stories!
Nauseated... you know you're going to have to think of a comeback for that statement don't you? LOL
Bill, another resident, was quite out of it and seemed preoccupied. I didn’t know why he wasn’t in the dining room with the rest of the residents. The dull routine of their days was punctuated by their three meals. Bill was standing in the middle of the hall with his pajamas and his adult diaper around his ankles, drooling and disoriented. His family jewels were sparkling in the light for all to see. It was rather a shock. Two PSW staff spotted him. They gently asked him what was wrong and took care of him. They thought he’d tried to change his diaper on his own in his room and was unsuccessful. They were so loving and kind. Nothing shocked me anymore, even a strange, naked man with the evidence of his gender for all to see. Off I went for home for some wine and some dinner and my “normal” husband.
I've watched my Dad walk through closed doors into ladies' rooms, spin circles in the hallway, not knowing which direction to go, people in wheelchairs come right in to Dad's room all times of the day and night, and see people just lie down in someone else's bed there. It is laughable at times! I think staff used the tool of "redirection" more than any other. My Dad has been more talkative lately, but with Advanced Stage Alzheimer's Disease, the things he says rarely make sense. His wife is married to his brother, and so's his daughter. (Not really, but that's what he says.) We just smile, nod and go on. He can no longer say my name, so I tell him, "I'm your favorite firstborn!" It brings a smile, but I assure him, "Don't worry, Dad, I still remember my name." I love my Dad, and have come to accept him where he is. And through the process, have come to accept myself, and also tell him, "I'm your fabulous firstborn!" I'm just happy to spend time with Dad no matter what his condition is!
Unfortunately, (or fortunately) my Dad passed on quite a few years ago, or I might have now asked him much about the president! Glad you enjoyed the stories. Last night at our support group, a new fella (he's not quite getting what his Mom is going thru yet with dementia) told the story of when he picked up his Mom to take her to lunch. Took them a while to find her purse....they were all set....he turned around to get her coat in the closet.....then back around to put it on her, and bingo.....the purse was gone again! So funny, and I know we've all gone thru similar....
Still trying to also figure out why they always want to go home, when they are already living in the house they've lived in most of their life.....must be their childhood home they're thinking of I guess.....any ideas?
I try to find the humor - remembering that many of the events are funny if you can only take a step or two back from the reality. I found a lot of stories funny when my husband's grandparents were aging - my mother-in-law, their caretaker, does not remember most of them. She was too busy to laugh! Now we tell her and even though she was there, says she was sorry she missed it.
doingmybest, funny Chinese food story!
Love all you ladies! Keep a spirit of joy, even in the hard circumstances. My Dad laughs a lot these days. Most of what he says doesn't make sense, but his wonderful nursing staff laugh anyway. They just keep on smiling, keep on hugging, and keep on loving. Dad and we are blessed!
Dad liked to stand at the nurses station and was able to communicate with everyone most of the time. The nurses felt sorry for him standing, so they got him a chair, when he sat down he couldn't see what was going on. The nurses loved my dad so they decided to let him sit with them at the desk in the nurse's station. Dad was a supervisor in his career, so he felt right at home at the desk.
He would tell maintenance staff when he noticed something that needed to be fixed. They said, sure Mr H we will get right on it. At times, he really thought he worked there. One day we came to take him out to lunch, and when he got in the car he said, I am so glad you came to get me out of there. I have been working really hard, and I haven't had a day off in I don't know when. Those were the times we could laugh, it saved our tears for other times.
One of the things his nursing care facility does is conduct a Laugh Club weekly. The director greets everyone with a handshake and a smile, getting right in their face. You'd think it would be intimidating to some, as this is on the Alzheimer's wing, but they respond back with a smile. They actually laugh, too. He has them picking imaginary cherries from imaginary trees (stretching), then stopping imaginary rotten ones beneath their feet. He puts imaginary ice down their backs, then demonstrates contortions trying to get the ice out, with them wiggling in their chairs as well. Sometimes they wiggle because of imaginary ants in their pants. It is hilarious to see. Better than sitting alone in a room or hallway, rotting away. They do the Queen's wave (exercising their arms) and greet each other with a smile and handshake or laughter and clapping, saying, "Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, he he he, yeah!" Sometimes they wear funny hats, or the director wears a clown wig and big red nose. He tells funny jokes, and asks them to do the same. I never saw so many wheel chair bound people smiling and laughing before ever. In this case, laughter really is like a good medicine. It lightens their hearts, and gives them something fun to look forward to.
Sometimes they play "Balloon Ball" as well. Just batting a big helium balloon around the room. It gets their arms and sometimes feet moving, and gets them exercising while having fun. Residents love it! This in one of the country's finest Nursing Care Facilities. We love to visit our 2 dads there, because it's not just a place to park, but a place that honors and loves the residents, strives to discover and cater to personal interests and needs, and involve family. We are blessed and so are our loved ones, who have such a magnificent place to live!
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story.
If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift.
Carol
When you mentioned the man knowing how to get your uncle's goat, it reminded me of something I heard that I thought was really good advice.
"If you don't want someone to get your goat, don't let them know where it is tied up!"