I have been with this guy for 20 years no hope for marriage yet I do love him but I am an only child and my parents need me to move with them to West Virignia to live with them . I also have fibromylgia and am 42 years old so I have to make up my mind soon . I have no money and if we break up I am on the streets. So it is a messed up situation. I love my parents and helping them please do not think I am selfish. thank you. judy
You need to build a life independent of your boyfriend so you're not dependent on either your boyfriend or your parents for your food and shelter. That kind of dependency often means you'll make bad decisions because you feel you have no options. And how old are your parents? If you're only in your 40s, your parents must be pretty young...in their 60s or 70s? They could be around for another 20-30 years. My mom is 94, just to give you an idea of what you might be looking at. It's time to really put together a life plan for YOURSELF about what you're doing in the coming years.
What specific cares would you provide for them? Cooking? Try meals on wheels. Managing their pills? Ask their doctor to order a visiting nurse. Help with bathing? There are aides that do that.
Given your own health situation I think it far better for you to look after them from a distance, advocate for them via telephone and letter, and see that their needs are met without totally disrupting your own life.
Now. I'm reading between the lines here, but I don't sense your relationship is that strong right now to begin with . . . who would leave the love of their life to move in with their parents for ANY reason? They'd take him with -- or they wouldn't go.
At any rate, right-or-wrong that I am, you have your own health issues. Your going with them will stop them from getting professional help -- that may be available at little or no cost.
Since you say you'd be moving "with them," if it's that important to them? They can stay right where they are -- which, I assume, is close to you.
I am confused by the sentence "if we break up I am on the streets". Wouldn't you be living with your parents?