Which is a lot more expensive than the food we get for my parents that she is welcomed to have. She is from a different country and prefers food that she is accustomed to eating, which I can understand, but it has become more of an expense for my parents. She is on the phone all day long. If she’s doing something for my parents, she’s on the phone. No matter what she’s doing - she’s on the phone. Unfortunately both of my parents are disabled and I am in charge of their finances and trying to make the money last longer. I’m wondering if I am being unfair?
What is expected from her and what her compensation is should be in writing with a 3 or 6 month meeting to review and update based on current needs.
If she is willing and expected to be on duty 24/7 you should be willing to compensate her with her food choices, because not many caregivers are willing to be available 24/7. It is your job to ensure she is getting fair and adequate compensation. However that is done.
I would try to find a market that has what she wants for cheaper. I live in a decent size city and we have many cultural markets. Products in them are usually 3-5x more cheaper then in the regular grocery store.
I would definitely want the caregiver to hang up the phone when actively helping mom or dad, it's called respect. This is a bigger deal breaker for me then her wanting expensive food.
You say she's on the phone all the time. I really don't see how a person can be on the phone all day long who isn't working a job in a call center. So, that's probably a bit of embellishment of the truth on your part.
You don't mention your foreign help being sent from a care agency. Is she privately hired? Much of the time a family will hire a foreign caregiver and pay them under the table in cash because it's cheaper than hiring an experienced, professional caregiver who can legally work. I can't fault people for trying to save money or make it go farther. Don't expect professional, high-quality caregiving services if you're not willing to pay what they cost.
Are your parents decently cared for? Are they clean, fed, and living in a clean environment?
If you answer 'yes' to these questions, you'd do well not to complain too much. If you're worried about making your parents' money go further, taking care of them yourself for free will really make it last.
If not and you have a decent caregiver for not one, but both of your disabled parents, I'd suggest you kick in a few bucks personally so the caregiver can eat from her own culture.
Just give the caregiver a budget to work within or anything beyond that is out-of-pocket at her expense.
Same thing goes on during Prom season when the daughter wants a million $$$ dress and the parents are thinking more in the $250 range. Just give them a limit and the rest they can pay for.
BUT I still spent the majority of my days doing something other than hands on caring for her - I read, I gardened, I exercised and yes, I wasted time on the internet. NOBODY should be expected to be "on" every minute of their shift, I've compared the position to that of an emergency responder like a firefighter, you still get paid to sit around the fire hall waiting for a call. As long as the agreed upon duties are getting done to your satisfaction (and what those are should all be detailed in the contract) then installing cameras with the intent of catching her being idle or banning her phone is overkill.
Her attention’s not on them - and it’s disrespectful.
Food issue: I think she’s being abusive, by intentionally seeking out more expensive items. Even ingredients to cook food from other cultures shouldn’t cost more.
The caregivers are welcome to any food & drink they want and yes we buy some extras they enjoy. It is not excessive and both ladies are very well cared for.
No chronic phone use but aunt's caregivers use their tablets a lot especially when aunt is napping.
As long as the work is done I have no objection.
No chronic phone use but aunt's caregivers use their tablets a lot especially when aunt is napping.
As long as the work is done I have no objection."
Agreed!
Call Visiting Angels and ask how they pay their staff: that's your competition.
The caregiver was incompetent, rude, ignorant, lazy, and unprofessional. This is why they were dismissed.
The client with dementia and mobility issues, suffered a serious fall while on a walk with her caregiver.
Her "angel" was on her phone and lagging so far behind her with the wheelchair that she didn't even notice the client beginning to stumble. A neighbor saw it before her caregiver did. I would never use them.
Also, they pay minimum wage to their care staff.
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