Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Hoarding is increasing with my wife who has vascular dementia. She is very protective of her “stuff”. Do I clean up despite the wrath or is there another way?
Shadow, my personal experience with dealing with the stuff of my hoarder mom, was disheartening to say the least. I recommend getting rid of things she will not notice are gone and regulate her being able to replace things.
My moms house was 10x worse after I helped her clean it out. It was security for her and not something I could understand. I made it worse by helping clean out.
I saw this when traveling with her and my hoarder auntie, they both brought far to much stuff and would "tuck" themselves in bed at every overnight stop with all their stuff out on their beds. It was eye opening at how much they needed the hoard. Gut wrenchingly sad but, it is how some people cope.
I pray for both of you to find a way you can both live in peace and comfort while minimizing the chaos of a hoard.
When dementia is involved, it goes into a whole next level with hoarding. I wonder if you can tell us if your wife did Hoarding BEFORE the dementia?
The DSM-5 now lists Hoarding as a separate diagnosis, and there is ever more and new research on it. Once thought to be a part of the OCD continuum it is now its own diagnosis. Like all mental illness, mental conditions, personality disorders, there is more UNKNOWN than known about how to handle hoarding.
If you have tried reasoning (the "let's do three piles, one we can donate, one we will keep and one we will recycle") and that hasn't worked you might see what happens if you quietly eliminate when wife isn't around one small thing at a time. IF this causes a lot of problems then I would seek help from a LSW familiar with hoarding to discuss.
I sure wish you luck and am so sorry you are dealing with this on top of everything else.
Have done the three pile thing a few times. Holding on to things has been going on awhile and at 73 it amounts to a lot of stuff. Have only room for one car in my three car garage.
Have 10 bins of cook books in a shed and she’ll never cook again so the bins will disappear a bin at a time. I will likely do the same with other stuff over time or our kids will be dealing with it.
I don't think there is much you can do. Its part of her Dementia. She is keeping her world small because it makes her comfortable. Is there a way you can keep "her stuff" to one room or area? What is she hoarding? Maybe you can clean up a little when she is sleeping. Not everything just enough not to get out of hand. Hoping that her short-term memory doesn't remember exactly what she hoarded.
When my MIL went into Rehab, knowing she was not coming back, we started cleaning out her house. In a chest of drawers she had, she had plastic grocery bags full of junk mail.
The only thing you could say " this is creating a fire hazard and if the firemen came into Our house it would be condemned . " Something to that effect and then clean up the mess when she is sleeping .
That’s how I feel. I absolutely hate clutter. I would have gone mad if I had to deal with a hoarding issue with my parents.
You are correct that it really is a safety issue. Unfortunately, it is also a mental health issue.
I realize that hoarding has to be handled in a certain manner.
Nevertheless, I would not be able to handle the OP’s situation well. I’m afraid that I would not have the patience to tolerate hoarding.
I had the opposite problem. My mom was a perfectionist. You know the type, “A place for everything and everything must be in its proper place!” This was annoying but I would gladly take that over a hoarder.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My moms house was 10x worse after I helped her clean it out. It was security for her and not something I could understand. I made it worse by helping clean out.
I saw this when traveling with her and my hoarder auntie, they both brought far to much stuff and would "tuck" themselves in bed at every overnight stop with all their stuff out on their beds. It was eye opening at how much they needed the hoard. Gut wrenchingly sad but, it is how some people cope.
I pray for both of you to find a way you can both live in peace and comfort while minimizing the chaos of a hoard.
The DSM-5 now lists Hoarding as a separate diagnosis, and there is ever more and new research on it. Once thought to be a part of the OCD continuum it is now its own diagnosis. Like all mental illness, mental conditions, personality disorders, there is more UNKNOWN than known about how to handle hoarding.
If you have tried reasoning (the "let's do three piles, one we can donate, one we will keep and one we will recycle") and that hasn't worked you might see what happens if you quietly eliminate when wife isn't around one small thing at a time. IF this causes a lot of problems then I would seek help from a LSW familiar with hoarding to discuss.
I sure wish you luck and am so sorry you are dealing with this on top of everything else.
Have 10 bins of cook books in a shed and she’ll never cook again so the bins will disappear a bin at a time. I will likely do the same with other stuff over time or our kids will be dealing with it.
When my MIL went into Rehab, knowing she was not coming back, we started cleaning out her house. In a chest of drawers she had, she had plastic grocery bags full of junk mail.
You are correct that it really is a safety issue. Unfortunately, it is also a mental health issue.
I realize that hoarding has to be handled in a certain manner.
Nevertheless, I would not be able to handle the OP’s situation well. I’m afraid that I would not have the patience to tolerate hoarding.
I had the opposite problem. My mom was a perfectionist. You know the type, “A place for everything and everything must be in its proper place!” This was annoying but I would gladly take that over a hoarder.