My mother is in the final stages of her life in a hospice facility. It's a beautiful place, and the nurses are so caring. My poor mom has been suffering terribly since her stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis a couple of months ago. To make matters worse, she has mid to late stage Alzheimer's and dramatic hearing loss, so she cannot understand what is going on. She can't even understand that she has cancer, but she knows she is constantly sick and exhausted. Her pain is somewhat controlled but she is gripped with nausea every waking moment even though she hasn't eaten in literally weeks and drinks only small sips of water. I'm her only family and it is killing me watching her suffer and slowly waste away like this for what has been nearly 6 weeks. It's like some sort of torture. The nurses don't seem to have any answers. Is there anything that will ease her suffering? Why does this have to happen? It's so unfair.
God's Speed.
Carol
We are not just a body which can fail and even seem to turn on us, and we are not just a mind which can seemingly or literally let us down too, we are also a spirit and no matter what is happening to our minds or bodies this is still true too.
I believe that many times it is when we can't see that the mind or body is able to comprehend or engage that the spirit is doing a great work in secret. I believe many times, if we look past what we can see with our eyes, we will see the possibility that God is with that person's spirit helping them to do the healing or letting go needed so they can go to eternity in peace. Sometimes we can ask God to give us eyes to see and He will give us peace knowing that even at the very worst times our loved one is not alone within themselves but surrounded by the Spirit and Angels and God is actually doing a very HOLY work out of compassion.
I know this comforts Christians because we are more familiar, hopefully, with the ideas of a human spirit and of the Holy Spirit and the unseen spiritual realm. God be with you and give you both peace. Amen
Please talk to the Nurse from Hospice as well.
They can assure you that she is not in pain but if you feel she is this is a concern that they can address. (and if she is in pain that needs to be taken care of)
Express your concerns and how you feel.
It is normal to feel exhausted, drained, helpless, frustrated and any other feeling imaginable.
If your Mom is anything like my Husband was the last several months, sleeping most of the time this is sleep that she needs.
I read a very interesting "pamphlet" that I found on line it was from a Hospice website that I found. The pamphlet is called "Crossing the Creek" and it was interesting reading as it put a different aspect on some things for me.
Be glad she is in a hospice house. They know better than anyone how to minimize suffering. Keep encouraging them to keep your mom more comfortable.
My heart goes out to you both. Do your best, and don't worry about being strong enough -- just keep loving her.