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All I can say is learn from this experience and I know you are. Nothing will change as long as your Mom continues to tolerate the situation. I don't think we, the children of this aging population, that medical advancements allow them and us to live so long, owe anyone just because they took care of us as children. I've read this many times before on this site and it's just a big guilt trip they throw on us. I know I will NEVER do my children what my parents have done to me in terms of being responsible for them 24/7.It's constant and exhausting. My Dad is now in a nursing home because he fell so many times. I refused to let him go back and live with my Mom who at the time had just had hip surgery. He needed 24 hour care and an 85 year old wife wasn't going to be able to help him. He would have pulled her down too, the next time he fell. I didn't fall for the guilt trip. And I won't when it's her turn to need more help. Sorry, I've given so much at this point, I can do no more. I wanted my life back, and slowly it's coming around. My Mom understands the situation. I wish your Mom could be strong.

Maybe you could start to do the homework for her and go visit some nursing homes in the area and leave the brochures on the kitchen table or counter. Just an idea honey. Stay strong!
xo

-SS
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