20 yrs down the road? After seeing what has happened to a friend and her husband, I am trying to learn what I can do to protect my husband and self. I know the court was acting as they thought was right, yet the appointed guardian made statements in private which could not be proven, statements to show that it was a matter of grabbing an estate. And the accusations laid to obtain the emergency guardianship were later shown to be false. Still it's all settled now. And I see it's not all for the better. And I think what can we do? I believe in our children yet so did our friends believe in their child. I wonder what safeguards there are - not only to protect one from their loved ones - also from the legal system or it's manipulation by others. Money is always an object - having it or not can decide way too much.
A revocable living trust is a great instrument that can be drawn so as to permit a successor trustee accession only upon the incapacity or death of the initial trustee. Note: The biggest shortcoming of this estate plan is that people fail to re-title assets into the name of the trust...only assets titled in the name of the trust are governed by the terms of the trust!
A well constructed Elder Care Financial Plan will also include a declaration of a "Pre-Need Guardian".
By doing it now, you have the time and perspective to plan. Since you are caring for someone, you know how complicated things can be. My parents had a trust and named my sister and I joint trustees. While I manage the day-today issues and pay the bills, my sister is the back-up. We have two brothers who also help which created a system of checks and balances and we are all engaged in supporting Mom now. A trust is a good way to help specify you wishes but it's more expensive to set up and requires that you do the work to put your assets into the trust. Again, a good estate lawyer can walk you through this.
The legal tools only go so far so I'm a huge advocate of organizing all of your information (financial, household, medical, online) so that the person you would count on can do the job of being your advocate. For a list of all the documents you should organize visit memorybanc and you can download a summary.
I agree with getting the bank to automatically pay as much as possible. Perhaps it would be good to survey assisted living facilities in advance too.
The rub of it is that there is no business, or business credential, which will assure compassion and integrity. And that is what we will be in most dire need of when we are elderly and infirm.
You can set up a trust with yourself as the main trustee (see a lawyer) and you can also, as I have done, be very specific about who gets what and when in the will itself. This can head people off at the pass.
I have left my only daughter a lump sum--a very modest lump sum. The rest goes into a trust for my grandchildren, to be given to them in smaller lumps at important moments of their lives: for college, for a house or business, the rest at age 40!!!!!! Some people thought that was crazy. Let' em! My lawyer thought it was brilliant, and I know the situation. My daughter (age 30) has been married twice and each of her husbands has now been married twice. Her children will probably do the same thing.
You might also want to consider Long-term Care insurance. That might take some of the sting out of this. Again, you have nothing lost by educating yourself. You are very right to think about this and act on this now!!!!!!!!!!
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