My cousin is a good guy and taking care if his wife who has some kind of dementia but won’t be tested. She has hallucinations, and only sleeps a few hours a night. She said that if he insists on her going to the doctors, having cleaning people or help in the house, she will call the police and tell them he is mistreating her. She can, in no way at this point, take care of herself. What can he do?
If this doesn't get anywhere I have some few other ideas, but I wouldn't want to START with them, as they are a bit more radical in nature.
Welcome to Forum Con. We surely do have lots of new members and questions today. I'm so curious about how you all discovered us at one time, but I sure am glad to see you here. Will await your answer and follow this question daily. Take care; thanks for being a supportive family member.
Also, he should ask to be in the room when she's tested and to sit directly behind her so that when she is asked questions, if she gives an wrong answer, you can indicate true or false by moving your head for the doc to see. This is also what I did at my MIL's appointment. The doc and staff will be happy to help in this situation.
Before leaving this appointment, have him ask for the HIPAA Medical Representative form for his wife. Cousin should be written in as the MR and she signs it. This allows cousin to call and get private medical info on his wife without her having to be present.
The wife is in the paranoia stage of her dementia. It can go on for quite a while. He can ignore her threats and hire aids (which she may eventually grow to like) or he can consider MC for her. But only if he has legal power to do so. He doesn't get to legally make deccisions for her just because he's her husband.
Unless there’s signs of cousin mistreating wife, the police aren’t likely to believe he’s doing something wrong. They’re trained to recognize various forms of mental illness. Your cousin can explain.
In no way does cousin have to accept this treatment from his wife. He needs to ignore her ravings and move forward to get her help.