OK, My Mom is 85 yrs old.. and in a locked ALZ Assisted Living facility-- In the last 2-3 weeks she has (Out of loneliness) allowed a man to become her 'friend' in her late stage confusion, she allows him in her room- many times a day as they roam up down halls- I have heard or found them sitting in her room w/ door locked.. Today I come in to sneak visit- he has his pull up off, lying on floor- but pants on.. and his toothbrush and a few otehr personal belongings in there as he is looking thru her closet.. Im upset that staff dosent try harder to 'redirect' and get them engaged in an activity or something.. (3) staff on floor- not really busy--just chatty around desk.. The Admin dosent seem too worried either- he says if she invites him in, then they cant really make it stop. Especially when the staff comes to ask him to leave she gets mad at them too- Gets territorial of her room w/ staff.. just slams door and locks it.. Many times staff cant even get IN the room- if med nurse w/ key not on floor or not available..Admin knows this-- I said he will HAVE TO have a key avail at all times.. *next time I hear no key.. Im reporting to Social Services and the Fire Dept. -- So, My Mom was a Minister for 40 years, married over 30- and before the late stages, happy to be single-- and sex free.. Now, she is so lonely-- and this man is all thats available- Her confusion wants to care for him.. and if it goes to that level-- I do NOT believe she is capable of making such a decision.. She has a servants heart-- and is always helping the other residents like a nurse.. and this allowing him in .. is just an extension of hospitality.. I think the staff should redirect and curtail the ALONE TIME in the room- but Admin, not behind me.. and I dont think it will be enforced.. I wish she was OUT! I have no options right now.. But God has to open up something and soon ! Any Advice would be great..
Geesh, Helen - I don't know how you are standing up under this nightmare! Really wish we could come and help you out! Hope this bit of levity at least makes you smile.