Mom is 85 with dementia and she is currently taking 13 mg of Melatonin every night but only sleeps an hour or so, gets back up, and thinks it's morning again! She will get fully dressed and expect my dad to take her to Waffle House for breakfast plus she has tried to take her morning meds all over again but it's really night time. Help!! This cycle is killing my 86 year old father. I help as much as I can with her but I'm not there at night. He doesn't like to drive at night because he doesn't see well...
You mom could take 500 grams of melatonin, it wouldn't do a thing for her sleep. I'm surprised her dr. even suggested it. OTC sleep aids are also no-no's. The antihistamines used in all of them have been linked to dementia and are not approved for use with dementia patients. The dr. needs to prescribe something like trazodone.
All that said, the solution is to look at MC facilities. Your dad is already at witts end. The stress will only get worse as the disease gets worse. So start looking at care facilities. Your mom will be well cared for.
Most elders with sleep issues are on something prescribed by their dr and well known to be a sleep aid.
Someone mentioned Trazadone-that is often used for older people and really, really works. Mother has taken it for YEARS.
If dad could handle things if she'll just SLEEP all night, then, good for him! But the poor sleep is a deal breaker. I have found that I HAVE to get plenty of good quality sleep. I used to get by on 6 hrs, now I need 10-12.
So, your poor dad, he's not sleeping enough and that can cause some real health problems for him. Will he consider a MC facility? Someplace that they can share, or even just for her? I know with COVID, this isn't a great time to be trying to place someone, but the pre-placement work could begin.
Is he aware that about 40% of CGs die before their 'patient'? We just lost a dear friend last week to that exact dynamic. Wife had cared for hubby through thick and thin and SHE'S the one who has a massive stroke.
I wish you all the best. Dad will need your love and support through this!
I changed it to 50mg Benadryl and works like a charm. Little groggy in the mornings, but nothing a cup of coffee doesnt fix.
Deb RN
Grandma lived to be 93.
Don’t throw shade on me, lol but it worked.
Speak with her doctor first of course but it’s just a suggestion.
You explained Mom gets up and wants Dad to take her to the Waffle House for breakfast in the middle of the night.
It struck me as important that you needed to explain why he doesn't take her:
"He doesn't like to drive at night because he doesn't see well...".
Uhmmmm....
Has your Mom run the show, making unrealistic demands before her dementia got worse? Dad needs help too if he cannot say "NO" or put his foot down. Do you have anyone in the family who is a bit more forceful and cannot have the wool pulled over their eyes?
At their age, can they go together to Assisted Living, be together, but with enough help to have this caregiving burden lifted?
If done early, the bad things are less likely to separate them, and the changes can be dealt with safely in AL.
This sounds like a very difficult circumstance, and I hope you all will find a good resolution, not waiting too long.
mom definitely needs to attend a adult day care for about 8 hours a day which will help with sleeping at night. Dad could sleep while she is there so by the time she gets back he would have had some rest. Melatonin is great but does not work for everyone. A hot totty is a good idea if she does not have other health issues or meds that alcohol would interact with. Be careful of meds that a doc may prescribe, it can do more harm than good. Doctors are not always correct. It’s not a one size fit all. Parents are very stubborn but you have to be more aggressive in making a decision. Good luck and we are here for you....
Dad kept passionately telling healthcare providers that Mom was on too much medication. No one listened to him, in fact, her medical records made no mention of his concerns, but stated Instead that he was ranting, and suffering from the beginnings of dementia (which was not true).
Take a look at all prescribed medications and supplements. Chart out medical purpose, negative side effects, dangerous interactions and proper dosages (for someone with your mother’s weight). You can start with the printouts provided by the pharmacy and augment your chart with information available online.
Mom was prescribed so many medications (incrementally slowly, most added during hospitalizations) that she could not function well. She had one of those pill boxes with many compartments and so many pills that the boxes could not even snap shut. She was waking at night ready to go out too. The sheer number of different medications were ridiculous and the dosages were only appropriate for a much larger person to begin with.
After refusals by several doctors (who told me I was in denial regarding the aging process) I found a doctor who was willing to listen to me regarding dad’s concerns and helped slowly wean mom down to dosages that were manageable for her body (which it turns out were lower than even what was recommended for her weight). Do not attempt weaning anyone off medication without a doctor’s supervision, as this could be very dangerous if not done correctly. It turned out that about 3 of Mom’s medications were not needed at all.
She completely bounced back! She felt so much better, sleep returned to normal cycles, she was happier, her memory sharpened, she stopped falling/regained balance, and even was able to exercise (and take fairly long walks) again. As Dad, at that time, was her primary caretaker too, his health and lifestyle improved significantly also.
A visiting nurse told me many of her other patients were in the same boat - when she told them our story and they were weaned, they also experienced a miracle.
I took my grandfather slowly but surely off all the drugs he was on...and replaced them with healthy foods & herbs. He smoked from 15 to 75 yoa, so his body is not ever going to be as good as someone who didn't...However, he rides his bicycle around the area, swims in summer & sleeps well at night. He does get depressed, & irrational, & imagine all sorts of things. And generally give me a hard time. I hang in their because he's my Grandpa, and I love him
However, he is for all intents & purposes a healthy man at 85
Watch "Death by Medicine" by Gary Null sometime on YT it is very enlightening
I Now take 5 mg melatonin, sleep a few hours, take another 5 mg.
I used Trazadone 100 mg for over a year. It worked, sort of, but my personality changed for the worse, I became sluggish and detached. Spaced out.
Benadryl also worked for sleeping, but caused me to become depressed and sluggish. I never took it more than a few days.
Plenty of exercise during the day helps, (especially outdoor exercise), but isn’t always possible.
Good luck
(Since others are sharing what they used - my mother was given mirtazapine, another antidepressant, you can see one size doesn't fit all)
Another edit - you might be interested to know that serotonin is naturally converted to melatonin at night which is probably why some antidepressants work for insomnia. If you are looking for something natural perhaps less melatonin at night and instead some 5 HTP in the morning 🤔
Try 5 mg and 1/2 dropper of 1000 mgs of CBD OIL.
Basically CBD is THE playground bully that physically blocks (gatekeeps) other kids from entering the playground as they normally do.
Some kids are zoomed in/out faster whilst others are processed slower.
In desperation for both of us to get some sleep, I had tried melatonin with my mom that week before the second antiobiotic treatment but it only made her delrium worse.
If you have the urge to try one of the "night time sleep aids" that contain the medication that is in Benedryl it is not without problems. The medication in benedryl can cause what I call a Foggy Brain. I tried it once and realized that I should stop giving it to my Husband. I figure if I woke up with a foggy brain what the heck is it doing to someone that already has dementia!
Check with her doctor, there are medications that can help. (keep in mind all medications come with a risk of side effects)
If possible keep her as active as possible during the day so she is tired and will be more apt to stay asleep.
Larger meal in the morning smallest meal at night might make it easier to sleep.
Limit liquids prior to going to bed. Eliminate stimulants before going to bed (anything with caffeine)
Try to eliminate the TV prior to going to bed, at least 30 minutes.
And maybe a sound machine of night time sounds, crickets might help.
By the way from what I have been told if there is light on it does limit the effectiveness of Melatonin so if a light is kept on for her that might also be contributing to the problem